The smallest, simplest thing can send me to that place.
Recently, it was the accidental snap of the elastic on my panties. The pleasant sting... made my head floaty... made me think of a rubber band snapping against my wrist... made me imagine a scenario where I'd be forced to snap it, by his commanding voice... made me recall the euphoria of slaps and spanks... made me remember how delicious it is to slide into intoxicating, dizzying subspace...
And it hurt so badly to be reminded of all this. All the wonderful, amazing sensations and emotions I miss.
Being forced to have a vanilla sex life, is like being forced to kill off little pieces of the real me, slowly, day by day. It's like he's not even having sex with me anymore-- he's having sex with some other version of me, a version in his mind... someone who wants only what he wants.
At this point, it actually hurts enough that I prefer not to have any sex at all.
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Recently, it was the accidental snap of the elastic on my panties. The pleasant sting... made my head floaty... made me think of a rubber band snapping against my wrist... made me imagine a scenario where I'd be forced to snap it, by his commanding voice... made me recall the euphoria of slaps and spanks... made me remember how delicious it is to slide into intoxicating, dizzying subspace...
And it hurt so badly to be reminded of all this. All the wonderful, amazing sensations and emotions I miss.
Being forced to have a vanilla sex life, is like being forced to kill off little pieces of the real me, slowly, day by day. It's like he's not even having sex with me anymore-- he's having sex with some other version of me, a version in his mind... someone who wants only what he wants.
At this point, it actually hurts enough that I prefer not to have any sex at all.