No sane jury would ever convict me

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that one of the resident cats in your home were in full-out Crafty Stalker Kitty mode, slinking ever so cautiously across the coffee table. Let us further say that you decide the best way to greet such a spectacle is to throw a stuffed monkey at her while screaming, "MONKEY ATTACK!" which causes her to do a double-barreled cokehead turbo flying freakout clear across the room and under the Chair of Refuge, a process that causes the magazines and sundries on said coffee table to go flying like the contents of Keith Moon's suite at the Chelsea Hotel.

[Poll #1135596]