No sane jury would ever convict me

[slipjig3]

Let us say, for the sake of argument, that one of the resident cats in your home were in full-out Crafty Stalker Kitty mode, slinking ever so cautiously across the coffee table. Let us further say that you decide the best way to greet such a spectacle is to throw a stuffed monkey at her while screaming, "MONKEY ATTACK!" which causes her to do a double-barreled cokehead turbo flying freakout clear across the room and under the Chair of Refuge, a process that causes the magazines and sundries on said coffee table to go flying like the contents of Keith Moon's suite at the Chelsea Hotel.

[Poll #1135596]

Comments

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Did you laugh until you piddled, or until you went hypoxic?

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

As I am fond of saying, I laughed until milk spurted out of my nose, and I wasn't even drinking milk.

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

Embrace the power of "and".

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaaand what?

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

That it's reprehensible *and* funny.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Or "piddled AND went hypoxic."

[felisdemens.livejournal.com]

I make the Feline-Frightening Noise and clap my hands sharply, with hilarious results. I also gave my father a harmonica for Christmas. He doesn't play the harmonica, but he has a mutant ability to hit just the right combination of notes to make the cats levitate.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

See, this is what I'm saying: hours of entertainment to be had. Also fun: riffling an entire deck of cards at their heads while they're sleeping.

[damarie.livejournal.com]

I hope you realize this makes you a bad person.

Also, lay a mirror flat on the floor and then put them down on it.