Gathering of the Heretics Union Local #447

[slipjig3]

I am dedicating this post (and its comments) to the pursuit of a single goal: confession of our daily heresies, the small ones we all carry as members of modern society, without guilt or shame or fear of retribution. Note that anonymous posting has not been enabled, in the interest of all of us embracing our heretical stances and not cowering from our differences—or, dare I say, our similarities.

I will begin: *deep breath*


Lord of the Rings is boring.

Tori Amos's best album was From the Choirgirl Hotel. Liz Phair's was Whip-Smart.

Ice cream and cake have no business being on the same plate together, ever. Also, chocolate syrup trumps hot fudge any day of the week.

Eliot's "The Wasteland" is pretentious twaddle. So is Infinite Jest.

Beer is marginally drinkable at best, swill at worst.

Sammy Hagar was a better Van Halen lead singer than David Lee Roth, and had Gary Cherone stuck around, he might have beaten them both.


*another cleansing breath* Your turn. (Please note that flaming the brave confessors will not be tolerated. Thank you.)

Comments

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Taco Bell is not food.

Pajama suits are hot.

[rain-herself.livejournal.com]

Yummmmy fake food.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

*laugh*

[fiddledragon]

*chuckle* I never made it past The Two Towers

Beer in general, ew....with maybe the occasional exception of the rare Black and Tan...but please gods yes Cider!

Microwave popcorn is a travesty unto mankind.

Doritos are devil chips.

elionwyr, hear hear on Taco Bell!

[eilonwy.livejournal.com]

Lord of the Rings is boring.
Yes. This. No matter whether it's in book or movie format. Guh.

Whipped cream is disgusting.



I've got nothing else at the moment, though. :)

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Please clarify which public sex is "inappropriate" and/or step away from the menagerie/mausoleum/tractors.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Hey, if Jeebus had his sermon on the mounted, why not do likewise?

[octoberland.livejournal.com]

I don't comment much but you do make the best posts. Okay, here goes...

*Dr. Horrible's Sing along thingy does absolutely nothing for me.

*I have never watched Firefly or Torchwood or new Dr.Who or most anything trendy geeks watch.

*I have never read anything of Hal Clement's.

*The only reason I initially read the Kushiel series was for the porn.

*Mushrooms are evil.

*I don't understand the fascination with Lady Gaga.

*I can't stand Poppy Z. Brite's writing.

I'm sure I could come up with more but there you go for now.

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

I <3 Ayn Rand

[animachina.livejournal.com]

*80's cartoons SUCKED and THAT'S the reason why "faithful remakes" of the cartoons blow. Just because it rocked your little kid mind doesn't mean it was intrinsically good.

*Grandma's Boy is pretty much unwatchable if you never smoked pot.

[patchwerkgirl.livejournal.com]

Mr. Pibb and red vines is NOT crazy delicious, but miso paste and strawberry jam on sourdough toast is.

The Lakers/Dodgers/whatever-team-from-whatever-sport are not gods and are not even mildly interesting, except for the All Blacks.

Tim Burton is a one-trick pony & his version of Sweeney Todd was an abomination.

Harold & Maude is the best movie ever made.

Will Ferrel, Adam Sandler, and Seth Rogan are not that funny.

Catcher in the Rye and the Twilight series are both poorly written and the main characters are not tortured or angsty, just whiny and annoying.

Stephen King's best book was "On Writing."

The Misfits: Michael Graves was a better singer than Glenn Danzig.

Bob Dylan's music is nigh unlistenable (unless covered by someone else).

Cyndi Lauper is way more impressive than Madonna.

I second slipjig on Hagar, elionwyr on Taco Bell, and mnfiddledragon on microwave popcorn.

[rain-herself.livejournal.com]

I was gonna say Bob Dylan. The man cannot sing a note, for Christ's sake. Johnny Cash, too.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

If you make the Bom-buppa-bom-buppa noise nasally for a moment, everyone will recognize Johnny Cash's only riff.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Springsteen has similar problems in that he's a better writer than singer.

[rain-herself.livejournal.com]

Star Wars is an indulgent, boring, poorly acted, poorly directed piece of trash.

Monty Python is not funny.

The Oxford comma is the One True Way.

The Fray rules.

American Idol is good and occasionally brilliant.

Generic orange powder mac and cheese is the best kind.

Espresso is gross. Cuban coffee is grosser.

Agreed on Hagar, beer, and ice cream and cake (especially ice cream cake..gah).

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

Go, Oxford comma!!

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

I am bummed because I will be out of town for The Fray. Otherwise I would totally go to the concert.

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

I don't like jazz. Or most vintage clothes. Or the New York Times Book Review.

Not all stories are fixable.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

It's fast or it's food but it's rarely both. I may eat it anyway.
The nearest weapon is usually the wrong one for the job.
Most corsets are worn incorrectly and that's very sad.
Television is to creativity as holding patterns are to travel.
Opera hurts to hear and I'm pretty sure most opera singers don't know how it's supposed to sound when it's "right."
Marijuana is overrated.
Space travel is a nice idea but nobody seems to be able to make it useful.

[marmota.livejournal.com]

Might as well open big;

* Moxie is the best kind of soda.

* I love motorcycles, but I do not understand the Cult of Harley.

* I don't see the point of porn. The degradation of strangers (anyone, really) does nothing for me. If I'm horny, I see my options as get together with a partner or take a cold shower. Self-control is *much* easier than trying to pretend that a bunch of bored porn stars that I wouldn't want in my neighborhood let alone bed are actually into whatever they're doing.

* I don't like movies with gunfights, explosions, and blood unless it's so over the top that it's obviously (or hopefully, anyway) meant to be ridiculous... and the older I get, the less even my sense of humor can get me through them.

* I love a good fantasy novel, but people who think magic is still real after they've put the book down creep me way the hell out.

* I think drivers engaged in any activity in addition to driving should have it ticketable as a moving violation. Phone calls, texting, eating food, tending infants, and so on are all major distractions. Pull over or stay home, the minutiae of your life are not worth the safety and lives of those around you.

Opinions stated in this post are solely those of the poster, your mileage will almost certainly vary, misuse only as misdirected, and I probably don't like your opinion either. And that's OK.

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

Amy Winehouse and Norah Jones are both overrated.

People should have to obtain licenses to bear/raise children. (You'd have passed, hon, don't worry. :) )

Beaurocracies should be taxed according to the amount of red tape and wastefulness.

Flat income taxes. The more you make, the more you pay. 'nuff said.

...of course, there's more.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

But porn of Amy Winehouse and Norah Jones sharing Taco Bell while driving to a LotR movie marathon at church...

[patchwerkgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, yes on the license to bear/raise children! I would go so far as to say that I am for mandatory abortions/sterilization for women with a chronic history of drug/alcohol abuse.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! And who could we trust to hand out licenses? That's always the stumper for me. Newt Gingrich? Hillary Clinton? The Duggars? Eric Rudolph? Oprah Winfrey?

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

For a while there was a city with a program that would give crack addicted women $200 cash on the spot if they agreed to and went through with a tubal ligation. They could use the money for crack or whatever they wanted.

I thought it was a great idea.....but of course, some folks didn't like it.

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the Beatles. Besides, half the shit they did they ripped off from classical and avant-garde folks like John Cage....just because it was new to the pop/rock scene doesn't mean it was their idea.

[nonethewiser.livejournal.com]

Parenting an infant is actually really tedious.

Most folk music is only listenable when one is drunk.

Dittoes on Lovecraft, BSG, plus Firefly, Serenity, Star Trek and all trendy geekdoms.

Movies of comic books and series from the 70s-80s are pretty universally schlock.

Movies where the entire premise is childish humour are an immense waste of time.

[theloriest.livejournal.com]

• I think Citizen Kane is an overrated piece of garbage.
  
• I hated Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
  
• I love Eminem as a brilliant lyricist.
  
• I don't understand people who read only one genre of books.
  
• I prefer vanilla ice cream over chocolate ice cream.
  
• Majority of hard cider is gross. Give me a real beer any day.
  
• Music in general is not very important to me, though I do enjoy a lot of it.
  
• I find men in suits to be super sexy.
  
• The only movie I have ever walked out of is Kung Fu Hustle.
  
• Looking at or watching porn does absolutely nothing for me.
  
• My favorite overall season of Buffy was Season 6.

I could keep going, but I'm at work so I should probably get back to doing that work thing.

[yendi]

Totally with you on Hagar, LotR, Phair (and her second best is Whitechocolatespacegg), at least.

As to my own:

Night Ranger was a damned fine band.

China Mieville is a boring and insanely overrated writer.

So was Herman Melville. Don't even ask me to read an author if his last name begins with an "m" and ends in "ville."

In spite of my generally mainstream tastes and heteronormative views, Megan Fox does nothing for me. Nothing at all. Estelle Getty has more sex appeal, and I'm talking about her present state (dead).

(The last statement should not be taken as an endorsement of necrophilia; dead Estelle Getty is still very, very unattractive, imho.)

If Mad Men and The Office vanished from TV today, I wouldn't notice or care.

Ditto American Idol, and pretty much every reality show on television.

Last two comments aside, I love television as a medium, and consider it much stronger than film.

Les Miz isn't the worst Broadway musical ever, but that's only because of Cats and Phantom of the Opera. And Nick and Nora was much, much better than any of those shows. So is a moose stuck in blender.

Golf is not a sport. Neither is auto racing, motorcross, or rhythmic "gymnastics."

There hasn't been a good first-person shooter since Shadow Master.

Also, because it can't be said enough, Lord of the Rings really, really, really blows.

[tnjade.livejournal.com]

OK, well as the lone dissenter, I <3 Lord of the Rings and Firefly. :)

I hated Blair Witch Project and couldn't understand the hype.

I hated Twilight and only read the first book because I told a friend I would. However, I couldn't stand the movie and I actually QUIT reading the second book (something I NEVER do) because they were so dreadful.

I hate Babylon 5 and can't understand why it's so beloved. I've even skipped ahead to the second season (the "good" season) and tried watching it from there, but it still sucks.

I prefer reading to watching television, and will choose reading every time.

Whee!!!

[patchwerkgirl.livejournal.com]

Second on everything you said!

[tnjade.livejournal.com]

Yays!! :D

hear, hear

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

Never read Twilight. Have no desire to.

Never got into Babylon5.

Blair Witch Project gave me a headache.

[auntiegrizelda.livejournal.com]

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why so many people adore Dr. Horrible, Firefly and Torchwood.

I second yendi in that golf is not a sport. Anything where the option of someone else carrying your shit shouldn't count as a sport.

There aren't any good comedies any more. Sigh.

[blimix.livejournal.com]

It's easy to put down popular stuff...

I find Gershwin's ground-breaking music boring.

Children are not worth having. It's only hormones that brainwash people into thinking otherwise. You can get more happiness, cheaper, and with less effort, by sticking a fork in your eye.

Admitting to liking awful things, on the other hand...

Velveeta is good stuff. (This from a guy with a wheel of locally made Camembert in his fridge.) So are Cheez Whiz, Easy Cheese, fake crab sticks, pork fu* (eaten straight), and liver.

* Cooked, dried, shredded, spiced pork. It looks like carpet lint and tastes like soy sauce and lard. And I love it.

Miscellaneous...

Grades (in school) don't mean a damn thing.

"Magic" means that you don't know how something was accomplished. (That includes stage magic, and it includes lighting a candle, weaving a charm, chanting, and having it actually work.)

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

* I loathe Bob Dylan with a fiery loathing undying.

* Anyone who says "life is easy" hasn't really lived.

* I am always vaguely suspicious of people who don't like cats.

[ultra-lilac.livejournal.com]

New Doctor Who makes me ashamed to be British

I wish we could shoot all the cats in the world into space so we can be free of their awfulness (I even made up a song about it)

'New Age' and folk music is twee bullshit.

Most people look shit in corsets.

Bob Dylan's whiny Grandma voice gives me ear herpes.

Moulin Rouge! is a hateful pile of trite, glittery shite, and I usually LOVE trite, glittery shite.

Although I like to think of myself as well-read my only knowledge of the Bible comes from 'Jesus Christ Superstar'.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Try "Godspell" for a twee, glittery, folk music variation on Bible stuff!

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

People who think they're cool because of what they dislike are highly overrated.

[patchwerkgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes. It's just easier than being positive.

[yendi]

Back for more:

I'll gladly watch any film by Paul W.S. Anderson before sitting through another Paul Thomas Anderson flick.

And I absolutely despise both "Buffy Season 8" and "Angel: After the Fall," and consider Joss's comic writing post X-Men to be worse than anything currently at DC or Marvel right now.

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

Lord of the Rings is boring. Somewhat agree

Tori Amos's best album was From the Choirgirl Hotel. Liz Phair's was Whip-Smart. Totally disagree on the first, agreed on the 2nd

Ice cream and cake have no business being on the same plate together, ever. Also, chocolate syrup trumps hot fudge any day of the week. Agreed and agreed.

Eliot's "The Wasteland" is pretentious twaddle. So is Infinite Jest. Marginally agree

Beer is marginally drinkable at best, swill at worst. Totally agree

Sammy Hagar was a better Van Halen lead singer than David Lee Roth, and had Gary Cherone stuck around, he might have beaten them both. Completely indifferent

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

I have never seen any version of Dr. Who. I don't get the Tardis thing at all.

I have never seen Firefly, BSG, or Babylon 5.

I think first person shooter games are retarded.

Fan-fiction is for losers. The bigger losers are the ones who write it.

I love Ayn Rand.

I support the death penalty and think it's underused.

I watch a ton of reality TV, including American Idol, Survivor, Big Brother, America's Next Top Model, The Fashion Show, The Biggest Loser, The Apprentice, Top Chef, Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, Make Me a Supermodel, America's Got Talent, Hell's Kitchen, and Last Comic Standing.

I actually like some Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus songs.

There's plenty more, but that's enough for now.

Oh, yeah, and:

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

Communism and anarchy would actually work if people weren't so fucking greedy.