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The joys of redundant training
Apr. 2nd, 2003 05:07 pmSo in a last-ditch effort my soon-to-be-former empoyment with the Telecommunications Company That Rhymes With "Schmerizon," I applied for a customer service representative position at the business office in Menands. To break it down:
Pros:
better hours
way-better moolah
fewer people I don't know calling me bad names
not in grave danger of being pink-slipped
Cons:
very long commute (1 hour +)
leaving all my friends behond
can't do my job and crossword puzzles at the same time
You do the math.
But before I can be considered for such a position, I must be tested, and before I can be tested, I must submit to the Pre-Test Training. Now, the test in question is much like the SATs, only much, much easier: you've got a spelling section, a basic math section, a number pattern recognition section ("7, 8, 9, 10, 11, ___"), and so on. So it's not exactly Gordian's Knot or the Enigma cypher you're dealing with here, but then again, 'tis not mine to wonder why. I got called yesterday afternoon, informing me that I was to report to Schenectady today for *insert Mannix-variety dramatic music here* THE TRAINING.
Genties and ladlemen, I have never earned such easy money in my life:
8:00am: Arrive after an hour's drive and 15 minutes dealing with parking in the Lost Land of One-Way-the-Wrong-Way; begin gabbing about corporate gossip
8:45am: Begin class proper
9:20am: Break, ostensibly to check that our cars haven't been tagged in the 2-hour parking lot, but mainly an excuse to buy hot chocolate
9:35am: Commence class
10:20am: Break, to read the paper
10:35am: Commence class again
11:10am: Break; no, the cars still haven't been tagged
12:00noon: Finish class, head for lunch
12:50pm: Return to office so that someone sees us, to confirm that, yes, we came back from lunch
1:05pm: Go home
And I got paid. My full hourly rate. Plus mileage. In place of my regular duties. I could get used to this.
The reason the class was so short was that I was the only one in the class, and I really didn't need 98.4% of the information presented. Penny, the instructor, said that she usually takes all morning on the math part, because she has to re-teach people how to add fractions. I know how to add fractions. You may move on, ma'am.
The test itself is this Friday in Albany. I'm getting paid time out of work for that, too. Let it be said that, as soul-devouring corporate behemoths go, Rhymes-with-Schmerizon ain't half bad.
Pros:
better hours
way-better moolah
fewer people I don't know calling me bad names
not in grave danger of being pink-slipped
Cons:
very long commute (1 hour +)
leaving all my friends behond
can't do my job and crossword puzzles at the same time
You do the math.
But before I can be considered for such a position, I must be tested, and before I can be tested, I must submit to the Pre-Test Training. Now, the test in question is much like the SATs, only much, much easier: you've got a spelling section, a basic math section, a number pattern recognition section ("7, 8, 9, 10, 11, ___"), and so on. So it's not exactly Gordian's Knot or the Enigma cypher you're dealing with here, but then again, 'tis not mine to wonder why. I got called yesterday afternoon, informing me that I was to report to Schenectady today for *insert Mannix-variety dramatic music here* THE TRAINING.
Genties and ladlemen, I have never earned such easy money in my life:
8:00am: Arrive after an hour's drive and 15 minutes dealing with parking in the Lost Land of One-Way-the-Wrong-Way; begin gabbing about corporate gossip
8:45am: Begin class proper
9:20am: Break, ostensibly to check that our cars haven't been tagged in the 2-hour parking lot, but mainly an excuse to buy hot chocolate
9:35am: Commence class
10:20am: Break, to read the paper
10:35am: Commence class again
11:10am: Break; no, the cars still haven't been tagged
12:00noon: Finish class, head for lunch
12:50pm: Return to office so that someone sees us, to confirm that, yes, we came back from lunch
1:05pm: Go home
And I got paid. My full hourly rate. Plus mileage. In place of my regular duties. I could get used to this.
The reason the class was so short was that I was the only one in the class, and I really didn't need 98.4% of the information presented. Penny, the instructor, said that she usually takes all morning on the math part, because she has to re-teach people how to add fractions. I know how to add fractions. You may move on, ma'am.
The test itself is this Friday in Albany. I'm getting paid time out of work for that, too. Let it be said that, as soul-devouring corporate behemoths go, Rhymes-with-Schmerizon ain't half bad.
