Thursday Adventures Vol. I: Give me snowpants or give me death!

When I was a younger man, I'd wait in line for hours just to get concert tickets. Now, I wait in line for hours just to get inexpensive brand-name children's outerwear.

Yesterday morning was Priceless Kids' annual winter coat blowout: good kids' winter jackets for $13.99 each, one day only. $13.99, people. Now, those of you without children are thinking, "My, that is a good deal." But I assure you, we parents see that and think, "WHAT?! Where? When? Get the credit cards! Get the car keys! GO! MOVE! NownownowNOW!" Suffice it to say, it's a very big deal, so much so that people wait outside the store for hours before they open at 9 a.m., because they know full well that if they wait, the place'll be picked so clean it'll look it'd been hit by gypsy moths.

So Kristi said she was going (she does every year) and left the house early enough to get there an hour in advance. I said I'd meet her there, because I'd never gone to this event personally. As it was, by the time kids were dropped off and all that, I arrived 10 minutes to nine, when the line was backed up for about half a block; I overheard a nearby, clearly childless construction worker saying, "They've been out there for three hours." I quickly found Kristi (along with a few other parents I know) pretty close to the front of the queue, and got berated by the perfect stranger behind her for being so late: "We thought you weren't coming!"

Priceless Kids done this often enough to know to let people in a small mob at a time, and we were lucky to be in the first bunch. As careful as they were to keep order, though, it still looked like the first ten minutes of Saving Private Ryan in there, only with circular clothes racks. The employees all were smiling, but their eyes looked like the general manager had just called to tell them that 3,000 saber-wielding Cossacks were on their way, and they all had returns. I was very proud of us, though: we selected and paid for three coats, three pairs of snowpants (Abbey has a habit of losing winterwear), and a hat in under 30 minutes. Total cost: 87 bucks and change. Woo! [soundtrack plays Rocky theme]

Afterwards, Kristi and I went and got breakfast. Restaurants are always where we do our real talking about Life Matters; once we'd placed our orders, Kristi grinned and said, "So what are we going to discuss today?" It was a good talk. But that's a story for another day.

Thursday Adventures Vol II: C'mon, Mulahen! Papa needs a pair of shoes!

Cross one item of my Things to Do Someday List: I went to Saratoga Race Track yesterday afternoon, and I'm very sorry that I didn't do it earlier.

This was a group outing, with Trey, Jimmy, Colleen, Smitty and me. The others had been there before, so they knew better than to try the concrete bleachers in 80+ degree heat. Instead, we nabbed a picnic table in the shade, outside the track area but near a TV monitor. That way we had a "home base," as Smitty put it, and as long as one person stayed behind to watch the coolers and such (and there was always at least one person not up to going anywhere), everyone else could head to the track proper and watch from the railing. It was a perfect system; there was even a betting window just 50 yards away from where we sat.

But I tell you, I had a blast. I was trying to organize the day into a decent narrative, but I really can't. So here's the bullet points:
* I. Kicked. Heinie. Three winning bets in five races (I had to leave early to collect the kids). Unfortunately, I bet small, and I made multiple bets in a few of those races, not all of which panned out, but I made back more than I paid out, so I can't complain.
* Poor Trey: no wins before I left. Even poorer Col: She bet to win on all counts, and consistently picked the horse that came in #2. Usually dropping from #1 at the last second. Usually losing to my pick. Sorry, Col.
* Jimmy needs a good 12-step program. A little too obsessive. Just sayin' is all.
* Word of the day: "plonk." As in, "Trey, I'm gonna have to plonk you for that." No, I don't know what it means.
* Colleen and I shouldn't be out in public together: we enable each other's girl-watching a little too effectively.
* You'd think that for 50¢, they could at least give you a pen that writes. Bastards.
* Adam, for future reference: Betting on longshots = bad idea.
* Injoke alert: Sugar daddy cheese fries!

Must do this again. Must. Have to.

Thursday Adventures Vol. III: I'll take Alt-Pop Critics' Darlings for $800, Alex...

So Abbey was watching "The Adventures of Pete & Pete" last night. Abbey never watches that show, so I think it just got left on whatever station she'd had on previously. But anyway, I wandered in about 10 minutes before it was over and sort of half-watched out of boredom. The episode had a rock-concert theme, and the two Petes were playing classic-rock covers with two grownups. Since I don't know the show, I assumed they were regular cast members, possibly parents of one of the Petes. But I was watching the woman playing bass, and I looked at her...and I looked again...

*blink* "Wait a minute...isn't that Syd Straw?"

She started singing. Yep. "That's got to be Syd Straw. Oh...my...GOD..."

Then I thought, wait, no, that's too strange. Besides, there's two grownups up there, and the guy on guitar isn't anyone in particular. He's not...he's...

*blink* "Marshall Crenshaw?!"

My mind was officially blown at that point. I had to be wrong; this was entirely too perverse. So I decided to sit it out until the closing credits, physically wrestling the remote out of Abbey's hand at one point, because the show was boring her to tears. Luckily the credits were legible: writer, editor, producer... "Special guests: Syd Straw and Marshall Crenshaw." Oh...my...GOD...

At first I was baffled at how they'd managed to convince them to appear on this rinky-dink little kids' show. Then I thought, how big a flippin' music geek do I have to be to recognize Syd Straw and Marshall Crenshaw on sight, and get excited about it?

I think it's official now that I am not fit for human consumption. I'm going to go lie down now?

Long time no see...

Oh, my gods...it's Dave! Hi! Moo! What's up? Say hi to daev, everyone. *waves*