Okay: which god, which incantation, and what sacrifices? I'm taking notes

I wish to register a complaint with whichever deity or antideity is trying to muck with my physical well-being, and I'm not even referring to the cold, which will likely standard operating procedures by lingering until September. No, this is injury-related, and it's starting to get personal.

First, the Powers That Be tried to remove the tips of both thumbs. Left thumb: the paper slicer at work. Right thumb: cheese grater. Yeah. Both are intact, although the blood loss on Thumb Right is distressing, since that's my guitar-pickin' hand. Luckily, the Powers That Be were generous enough to let me see the broken wine glass in the sink before I plunged my hand in. The alcoholic beverage spilled on the disc burner, though? Quite beyond the pale.

I think my weekend will consist mostly of sitting in the center of the room, being very, very still.