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The Land That Reason Forgot
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:54 pmDear Caller,
I have just informed you that you have, in fact, reached the wrong number when you dialed me. You have read off the number you were trying to reach, and it wasn't even close. Precisely how much more discussion time are you planning on devoting to this? Do you believe that if you argue long enough, this will somehow transmogrify into the right number? Are you thinking there's a chance that my office really is the residence of one Mrs. Estella Ramirez, and I somehow temporarily forgot? Is there any parallel universe, to the best of your knowledge, wherein the question, "Are you sure?" would receive any answer at this juncture other than "yes?"
If we happen to cross metaphoric paths again under similar circumstances, I am going to inform you that no, in fact, I lied—this is the home of Mrs. Ramirez, but since she (being a feisty sort of retiree) asked me to request that you sodomize yourself with something caustic, pointy, disease-ridden and/or on fire, I thought I'd try to spare your feelings. The phrase "and the horse you rode in on" will be added if the call progresses past the one-minute mark.
Carry on,
Adam
I have just informed you that you have, in fact, reached the wrong number when you dialed me. You have read off the number you were trying to reach, and it wasn't even close. Precisely how much more discussion time are you planning on devoting to this? Do you believe that if you argue long enough, this will somehow transmogrify into the right number? Are you thinking there's a chance that my office really is the residence of one Mrs. Estella Ramirez, and I somehow temporarily forgot? Is there any parallel universe, to the best of your knowledge, wherein the question, "Are you sure?" would receive any answer at this juncture other than "yes?"
If we happen to cross metaphoric paths again under similar circumstances, I am going to inform you that no, in fact, I lied—this is the home of Mrs. Ramirez, but since she (being a feisty sort of retiree) asked me to request that you sodomize yourself with something caustic, pointy, disease-ridden and/or on fire, I thought I'd try to spare your feelings. The phrase "and the horse you rode in on" will be added if the call progresses past the one-minute mark.
Carry on,
Adam
