Given the gumption, I might start issuing citations

As part of the ongoing brain-fix that I’ve been attempting (which also includes the “Figuring Out What I Want to Be When I Grow Up” Project and the “Beating the Rotten Little F&$%ing Guilt Monster That Lives in My Skull Into Wallpaper Paste” Initiative), I’ve begun assembling a list of life rules that I can embrace and believe in. I’ve only managed to assemble nine such rules so far, which is actually a good thing in that I’m not top-loading the list with chaff. I suspect that the list will grow and evolve over time, but for now I present the Rules as they currently stand:


Slipjig’s Rules

1) Life is too short not to be kind.
2) Always treat your barista well.
3) “Don’t get caught.” [Kevin Wiley]
4) Prioritize your own happiness.
5) Know thyself.
6) Real butter, dammit.
7) “Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave once you’ve done your shitty little song or poem, you self-righteous prick.” [Dan Le Sac]
8) If your rather bad day has a really good story, you’ve broken even.
9) Guilt is useless, destructive and not worth your time.


And yes, I have been known to quote them by number from time to time: “Dude! Rule 2! Tip the guy, ya friggin' tightwad!” As for the list’s ongoing evolution, I do welcome suggestions, which does not necessarily mean I will accept any of them. More importantly, though, let me ask you: what are your rules for life?

(To answer your unspoken question, yes, I’ll probably need to skip #34 if I make it that far. Boo.)

EDIT: Added #9, which I'm still amazed hadn't been added until then.