Braining is hard

There is a full can of whipped cream in the fridge. I would like to walk to the fridge, remove the whipped cream, and consume the contents in one sitting, standing there in the dim light of kitchen like some low-rent David Mamet version of a suburban teen meth addict in an after-school special. The one thing saving me from sinking to such a deed is the level of torpor that comes with lounging in bed in one's underwear, propped up on four pillows whilst surfing the Facebooks. Hurrah to laziness for saving me from gluttony! (At least until I get up for work in the morning, at which point the Reddi-Wip situation is going nova.)

That's all I've got. Go, me.

[EDIT: figmentj just offered to bring me the whipped cream. My gods, I'm bunking with a pusher.]