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Back in the land of the binaural
May. 7th, 2013 10:02 pmFascinating things I've learned in the last few days, thanks to my left ear:
1) Not being able to hear out of one ear for days on end is kind of lousy.
2) Especially is one is a paranoid musician.
3) If one is, in fact, a paranoid musician, then no amount of evidence indicating that it's just a temporary blockage will quell the fears of lanced eardrums, degenerative nerve damage, or Wrath of Khan-inspired horrors of which we shall speak no more.
4) 30 minutes on an iPod with such a condition is beneficial in learning the ways of rock engineers and their wide-based stereo production antics. No, sir or madam, you may not hear that guitar solo on the left channel right now, unless you're really prepared to swap earbuds every other verse, which you're not. Enjoy the stoned tambourine player instead.
5) When one is uninsured, working for a company with a free in-house clinic is enough to bump one's job satisfaction rate up a good ten percentage points.
6) You can glean quite a bit of info not only from what the doctor says, but how long it takes to say it. She spent a full 15 seconds peering into the unblocked right ear before mentioning that it looked red and irritated; the scope had barely touched my left one before she barked, "WHOA. Yep, that's a big clog." Gahh. I imagined that a family of marmots had taken up residence or something.
7) Things that sound obvious but aren't thought of until it happens: Battering one's inner ear with a jet of warm water-hydrogen peroxide mixture seriously mucks with one's equilibrium.
8) Also? Motion sickness.
9) If the doctor offers to show you what she just flushed out of your left ear, the correct answer is "no." (Learned the hard way. Wrath of Khan-inspired horrors of which we shall speak no more.)
10) I have never been so grateful for my hearing in all my life. I'm going to listen to Fairport Convention's "A Sailor's Life" and the Kills' "Cheap and Cheerful" over and over, mainly because I can.
1) Not being able to hear out of one ear for days on end is kind of lousy.
2) Especially is one is a paranoid musician.
3) If one is, in fact, a paranoid musician, then no amount of evidence indicating that it's just a temporary blockage will quell the fears of lanced eardrums, degenerative nerve damage, or Wrath of Khan-inspired horrors of which we shall speak no more.
4) 30 minutes on an iPod with such a condition is beneficial in learning the ways of rock engineers and their wide-based stereo production antics. No, sir or madam, you may not hear that guitar solo on the left channel right now, unless you're really prepared to swap earbuds every other verse, which you're not. Enjoy the stoned tambourine player instead.
5) When one is uninsured, working for a company with a free in-house clinic is enough to bump one's job satisfaction rate up a good ten percentage points.
6) You can glean quite a bit of info not only from what the doctor says, but how long it takes to say it. She spent a full 15 seconds peering into the unblocked right ear before mentioning that it looked red and irritated; the scope had barely touched my left one before she barked, "WHOA. Yep, that's a big clog." Gahh. I imagined that a family of marmots had taken up residence or something.
7) Things that sound obvious but aren't thought of until it happens: Battering one's inner ear with a jet of warm water-hydrogen peroxide mixture seriously mucks with one's equilibrium.
8) Also? Motion sickness.
9) If the doctor offers to show you what she just flushed out of your left ear, the correct answer is "no." (Learned the hard way. Wrath of Khan-inspired horrors of which we shall speak no more.)
10) I have never been so grateful for my hearing in all my life. I'm going to listen to Fairport Convention's "A Sailor's Life" and the Kills' "Cheap and Cheerful" over and over, mainly because I can.
