WARNING: Do not read while consuming beverages

[slipjig3]

My main problem with the Bulwer-Lytton Contest (if you're not familiar, the object is to write the worst possible opening line to a novel) is that the entries tend to run towards the shaggy-dog-punchline-intensive sort, whilst I tend to be more impressed by the compact and punchy sorts of entry. This is why I'm so delighted to have found the Little Lytton Contest, which has a 25-word limit. Dear gods, I've nearly sent milk flying out of my nose reading some the entries. And I'm not even drinking milk.

Best entry ever is the 2002 winner:

The pain wouldn't stop, and Vern still had three cats left.

*splorfle*

I need a writing icon. Anyone have a good one they can lend out?