slipjig3: (filet o' fish)
[personal profile] slipjig3
Ten things about spending eight hours a day for the last three days on hold with various and assorted nursing homes (an activity hereafter referred to as "my job"):

1) You would not believe how much smooth jazz is out there, meandering through the undercarriage of our society. It must be stopped, people. Stopped, I say!

2) Regardless of my feelings on the material itself, there really needs to be a statute of limitations on Christmas music tape loops after December 26.

3) Speak the highest truth, now: would you let your parent stay in a facility called the Voorhees Center?

4) What the frickle-frack is the deal with Minnesota medical billing regulations? Did Jackson Pollock mate with six members of middle management or something?

5) "The healing power of a smile": My second-least favorite phrase in the English language.

6) The good people of Baton Rouge never answer the phone.

7) And forgive me, my dear Philadelphian friends, because you are truly lovely, wonderful people and I adore you all, but: City of Brotherly Love, my lumpy Germanic arse.

8) "If you know your party's extension": My absolutely least favorite phrase in the English language.

9) Look, people, all I'm asking you is your room rates. Is there really any conceivable reason why you would refuse to tell me? We're not flippin' Wikileaks. It's not @%&#ing missile codes. Start with the gum-flapping, Sparky.

10) Before leaving this morning, I asked [livejournal.com profile] primal_pastry if she could suggest a talisman for my cubicle to protect me from all the normal. She lent me her Cylon snowman and her Tardis USB port. That will do nicely.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-07 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] captain18.livejournal.com
  • Re: #1. Our hold music is usually Muzak versions of recognizeable songs. This was neat when I realized I was listening to a rendition of "Shiny Happy People". Not so much with "My Heart Will Go On". And "Let's Get It On" while on hold was just plain wrong.

  • Re: #7. An old friend of mine always referred to the town as "Filthydelphia", if that helps.

  • Re: #8. "No, but I'd like to get to know your party's extension, if you take my meaning."
  • (no subject)

    Date: 2011-01-07 12:53 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] e-scapism101.livejournal.com
    #3 - Absolutely. Especially if there's a lake nearby and one of the orderlies is wearing a hockey mask. (You haven't met my mother.)

    (no subject)

    Date: 2011-01-07 01:42 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] intuition-ist.livejournal.com
    "the healing power of a smile"

    aaaaaa nooo run! i know which nursing home that is, and they SUCK!

    (no subject)

    Date: 2011-01-07 01:47 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] intuition-ist.livejournal.com
    re: prices -- are you allowed to lie? "hey, my mom's getting older, she's not ready for a nursing home yet, but she asked me to check into prices and amenities, my address is (foo) could you send me something?"

    Happy Birthday Again

    Date: 2011-01-07 02:36 pm (UTC)
    From: [identity profile] weyrdbird.livejournal.com
    #3= Hell No, but if I had an annoying cousin named Jason I'd send him there, pronto......
    #6- I'm not surprised. After what happened to New Orleans we're lucky there wasn't a secession.
    #9- They're all sold. Look, there's a nice hotel across the street. I'm sure they have much bigger rooms and better rates than we do. And good lord, is that the time? We must close for lunch!
    There's something going on.

    Maybe if you're lucky, you'll encounter a Dalek.

    (no subject)

    Date: 2011-01-08 01:41 am (UTC)
    ext_4772: (iAm iSaid)
    From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
    The call center where I worked had somewhat more aggressive jazz than what it sounds like you're getting. I once got a caller who actually asked me to put him back on hold because he liked the music!
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