Why perverts should not be allowed normal desk jobs

[slipjig3]

So here's the problem:

My current temp job, as you may or may not recall, involves calling up long-term care providers and grilling them about their billing practices. We do this on a region-by-region basis, and to make sure our survey is Statistically Meaningful we're required to get responses from a certain percentage of the facilities in each region, based on how populous that region is. All well and good. The trouble is that the system that keeps track of all the things likes to keep us posted on what our goals are and how far we have to go.

Which would be dandy, except that it means I get to stare at the following all day:

Penetration Rate: 30%
Amount Penetrated: 18%

Yes, I pretty much have to stop myself from doing the Butthead chuckle on a regular basis. Yay, being forty going on nine. Also, to go along with the Voorhees Center of a few weeks ago, I've also recently encountered assisted living centers called "CuJo Adult Family Home" and "Cape Fear Assisted Living." If the brochure mentions a "sematary" out back for its poor departed residents, I'm locking my door and living off Tasty-Kakes until I keel over.

(And yes, I owe the cosmos my Arisia wrap-up, which I think I will post on Sunday or Monday to allow sufficient time to write it up properly. Short version: totally rocked.)

Comments

[gows.livejournal.com]

Hee! :D

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

*insert "69" reference here*

*insert reference to inserting things here**

It'll probably turn out it's pronounced "Sue-Joe." And you do know there really is a Cape Fear, yes? (There. My pedant side is satisfied.)


* Gag (ha!) stolen from Troy in Fifteen Minutes by cleolinda.

[maverick-weirdo.livejournal.com]

A stll remember when I was at Lifeline one of the assisted living facilities was named Arms Care, except they merged it into one word Armscare. It took a fair amount of restraint not to call it Arm Scare while talking to subscribers.

[emilytheslayer.livejournal.com]

I'd be laughing too, it's not your fault.

Yesterday when I was helping this older guy with computer stuff (two hours of explaining to him why moving an email from his inbox into a folder was not exactly the same thing as downloading a file of pictures from that email and burning it to a cd, in case you were wondering how I am using my Master's degree) he at one point said something about how I'm so smart with my technical knowledge, it just blows him. I glanced at the incredibly potty mouthed 6th grader behind him just DARING him to start laughing, then realized I may have been the only one who noticed the phrase. Ah, yes.

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaaha I laughed out loud at your Tasty Kakes agenda. Mind if I metaquotee?

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

That should say "metaquotes". Writing code on iPad: more difficult than advertised.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

If you find a place in Florida where aliens have placed rocks in a swimming pool to create a fountain of youthand the senior residents are real happy and sportin' like, I suggest asking about what they charge, etc. A spaceship out of here might not be a bad idea in terms of retirement.

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

Oh, christ, that *is* a bad word choice, even if my mind weren't in the gutter more than half the time. They should use "Engaged" or ...something else, I dunno.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Sure! Thank you! *beams*

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

Done!

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

Your icon is SO full of good.

[gows.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D