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slipjig3Yesterday, I got a text from Abbey the Girl-Child in which she asked if pleasepleaseplease could she have Thanksgiving dinner at her boyfriend's uncle's house, somehow managing to flash Bambi-eyes at me over the text lines. I was inclined to say no, partly because the kids were supposed to be spending their first Thanksgiving with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
figmentj and me ever (at the home of yendi and shadesong and sindrian as befits stalwart annual tradition), but also because I had lost track of who she was dating. Facebook filled me in on that bit of info: Guy I Had Never Heard Of, whom she'd been religiously and devotedly going steady with for the grand sum total of four days. H-to-the-E-to-the-double-L no, I said, which I think she anticipated because I got very little pushback.
When I picked up Abbey and Nik the Boy-Child in Easthampton today, I asked about Josh, the aforementioned Guy I Had Never etc. "Oh," she said with a distracted toss of the head, "we broke up already." Ladies and gentlemen, my almost-16-year-old daughter.
figmentj has assured me that among those who actually date in high school—i.e. people who are not me—this level of turnaround is pretty much par for the course, a 100-level anthropological exercise that you think I'd have noticed a lot sooner. That's reassuring, but I'm starting to see the need for a scorecard to keep the girl's boys straight, lest I commit the parental sin of terminal cluelessness. Here is the dossier intel I've gathered thus far:
Dale: The current perennial on-again-off-again fellow. Polite to adults, but succeeded in drinking himself into a coma one fine afternoon. Apparently currently dating someone else now, allegedly monogamously, but still calling Abbey. Strikes me as the sort who would make a strong request of an SO that includes the phrase, "...you and another chick." Gives me the jibblies.
Patrick: The frizzy-haired one who took her to the Homecoming Dance. Funny, a fan of My Little Pony, and currently repairing her dropped laptop. Apparently reluctantly broke up with her because he didn't think it would work out. Pity, that.
Josh: The latest. I know nothing about him, except that her [insert term that means "frenemy" without actually being "frenemy" because I loathe that word] Tiffany lured him away with her evil voodoo vaginamancy. Boooo.
Isaiah: Her boyfriend before she left Worcester, who is suddenly somehow back in the picture with repeated phone calls. Nice enough fellow, but Abbey, dear heart, what the blue screaming Saxon hell are you doing?
Zippy McCool: Actual chosen name (Abbey: "His real name is Brandon, but don't ever call him that"). She hasn't actually dated him, I don't think, but his name keeps coming up on conversation. Plays jazz trumpet, and is apparently going to be karaoke-ing Tom Lehrer's "The Elements" at the talent show in a few weeks. My daughter's turnover rate is through the ceiling as it is, I know, but since she's single at the moment and bloody unlikely to let that lie, she could certainly do worse. Plus I'd get to use the phrase, "my daughter's boyfriend, Zippy McCool." Yeah.
figmentj and me ever (at the home of yendi and shadesong and sindrian as befits stalwart annual tradition), but also because I had lost track of who she was dating. Facebook filled me in on that bit of info: Guy I Had Never Heard Of, whom she'd been religiously and devotedly going steady with for the grand sum total of four days. H-to-the-E-to-the-double-L no, I said, which I think she anticipated because I got very little pushback.When I picked up Abbey and Nik the Boy-Child in Easthampton today, I asked about Josh, the aforementioned Guy I Had Never etc. "Oh," she said with a distracted toss of the head, "we broke up already." Ladies and gentlemen, my almost-16-year-old daughter.
figmentj has assured me that among those who actually date in high school—i.e. people who are not me—this level of turnaround is pretty much par for the course, a 100-level anthropological exercise that you think I'd have noticed a lot sooner. That's reassuring, but I'm starting to see the need for a scorecard to keep the girl's boys straight, lest I commit the parental sin of terminal cluelessness. Here is the dossier intel I've gathered thus far:Dale: The current perennial on-again-off-again fellow. Polite to adults, but succeeded in drinking himself into a coma one fine afternoon. Apparently currently dating someone else now, allegedly monogamously, but still calling Abbey. Strikes me as the sort who would make a strong request of an SO that includes the phrase, "...you and another chick." Gives me the jibblies.
Patrick: The frizzy-haired one who took her to the Homecoming Dance. Funny, a fan of My Little Pony, and currently repairing her dropped laptop. Apparently reluctantly broke up with her because he didn't think it would work out. Pity, that.
Josh: The latest. I know nothing about him, except that her [insert term that means "frenemy" without actually being "frenemy" because I loathe that word] Tiffany lured him away with her evil voodoo vaginamancy. Boooo.
Isaiah: Her boyfriend before she left Worcester, who is suddenly somehow back in the picture with repeated phone calls. Nice enough fellow, but Abbey, dear heart, what the blue screaming Saxon hell are you doing?
Zippy McCool: Actual chosen name (Abbey: "His real name is Brandon, but don't ever call him that"). She hasn't actually dated him, I don't think, but his name keeps coming up on conversation. Plays jazz trumpet, and is apparently going to be karaoke-ing Tom Lehrer's "The Elements" at the talent show in a few weeks. My daughter's turnover rate is through the ceiling as it is, I know, but since she's single at the moment and bloody unlikely to let that lie, she could certainly do worse. Plus I'd get to use the phrase, "my daughter's boyfriend, Zippy McCool." Yeah.
