Nightmares of the Information Age parent

[slipjig3]

The wee ones were in town this weekend, so I got to spend some Quality Time (read: kids let Daddy know that they love him, alternating with doing everything in their power to make that little vein stand out in his forehead). We quite literally attacked the elementary school playground for a while, then went to lunch, where we watched Abbey's McDonald's priveleges vanish before our very eyes as she positioned herself in the play room's gerbil tubes at the top of the slide and refused to come down. (Jimmy Carter's negotiation skills ain't got nothin' on Anna's: she had her down in 3 minutes flat.) There was much fun to be had, with conversations like this one:
Abbey: I want to go home for lunch.
Me: But I thought we'd go out to eat.
Abbey: No, I want lunch at home.
Me: You don't want McDonald's?
Abbey: [temptingly] But Dad, we have chicken. And graaaaaavy....
Me: Um...
Abbey: You know you can't resist it...

But the conversation that scared the living pudding out of me came the night before, when I called their grandma's house, where they were staying. Abbey answered the phone, and we chatted only a few seconds before she leveled me with a line that sent freon running through my veins, something no parent wants to hear.

"Hey, Dad," she said. "I'm reading your journal."

Oh, please, no. Tell me she's kidding.

"Some parts of this are really funny, Dad. Like right here, on August 14, where it says, 'Excess and loving it'? That is so funny!"

Oh, Jesus on a jetski, tell me this isn't happening....

"So I've gotten all the way up to July 15. Why is there a picture of a little lemon with hearts coming out of his eyes? Does that mean you're in loooooove?"

Naproxin. Need Naproxin. And Maalox...

"And why does it say the security is 'public,' hmmmmmm?"

So, yeah. My seven-year-old daughter is reading my blog now. I told her that maybe it might possibly be a somewhat good idea to have a grownup screen the contents of said journal before she plunges into it again. I also made the mistake of offering to set up a journal of her own, until I realized that that was probably a bad idea in this predatory world. Ai yi yi, all the things I never stopped to think I might have to worry about... *wince*

Oh, and Abbey, if you're reading this: Hi, darlin'. I love you to bits, and always will. You should probably switch to nick.com now.

Comments

[yendi]

*shudder* I'm truly frightened of the time when Elayna discovers how to visit my LJ.

Scariest thing my daughter has ever said to me: "I want to learn how to IM."

(after reading Snail Mail No More)

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Scariest thing my daughter has ever said to me: "I want to learn how to IM."

*blanches in sympathy* Things I am not looking forward to....

[kiwitayro.livejournal.com]

why not!!?? jlynn's got an LJ and IM! she's addicted.

i've had the conversation about not talking to random people, etc... she's pretty understanding & good.

they could talk!

[alcinoe.livejournal.com]

Bwhahahahaohwait..Cat has internet privleges. So does Pippy. I should probably not laugh.
*gasp*

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*giggle* I suppose it has to happen to us all. Doesn't mean we have to be anything but terrified when it does.

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

I laugh...and yet only because Liam and Ashe don't have internet access at the moment.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Soon. Sooner than you think. Unfortunately.

[irisira03.livejournal.com]

She's pretty damned smart, huh?

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Too smart, if you ask me.

[mick-hale.livejournal.com]

I nearly coughed up a lung laughing, I can admit it.

That's one smart girl you've got there. Perhaps you should start friendslocking some more posts?

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

I think that pretty much goes without saying at this point. Ai yi yi, save me from my children's advancement...

[cyan-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, goodness. That would indeed strike terror... I went back and re-filtered everything outre when my 13 year old cousin got access.

Along similar lines - Several of my therapy clients have discovered my journal, via posts in communities or comments in the journals of mutual friend. I am *very* glad of my habit of making copious use of the friends-lock from the get-go!

[merowme.livejournal.com]

This makes me so very glad that I don't currently have kids and that when I do they won't be old enough for at least ummm...4 years (the way kyril is that may be too old) to see what I have in my LJ. Boy is she one smart cookie. She may be President one day or at least an ambassador to somewhere. I'm glad she's on our side.

[odheirre.livejournal.com]

Hey, when she gets her LJ account, let us know her username.

[sevanetta.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... Ahem. Excuse me. Fear was struck into my heart a few weeks ago when my ex broke into my email and via that, some locked entries in my journal... That was pretty damn bad, I've got to say. But... he shouldn't have been looking for dirt on me.

Tell Abbey, 'you ROCK, sweetie', love from Kate in Canberra, Australia...

[kiwitayro.livejournal.com]

yeah, jlynn (also 7) discovered my journal (probably by going through the "history" of one of the computers i used while mine was broken) and then went about creating her own LJ without my help or anything. maybe abbey should get one and friend her! she's jjllyynn and she has an IM acc't too, in case abbey'd be into that. :) she's chachalalaeagle on IM. kids.

now i better see what the banging and construction sounds are coming from the workshop upstairs...