Whimsies of the feline
Oct. 24th, 2004 11:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
slipjig3Well, that was fun.
For those of you who have never had the enviable opportunity to clip a cat's claws, allow me to offer the following advice: don't. It doesn't hurt the li'l bugger, assuming you do it right, but something about the process of pushing on each toe pad one by one and snipping with a teeny pair of glorified bolt cutters turns even the sweetest little kitten into Simba the Flesh-Devouring Serengeti-Beast. It's a comparable experience to, say, flossing a rabid muskrat on crank with your fingers Scotch-taped together. If you must clip a cat's claws, though, don't even think of trying it alone. Our process was to have![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rafaela hold Sunny bundled up like a meatloaf in a flannel shirt while I went at her like the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors, and prayed. Hard.
Sunny's an odd little critter. She's been having a grand time this weekend chasing bugs, both real and imagined. This afternoon, Anna tells me, the cat carried my stuffed monkey Barf (short for "Barfulous") to her, after spending some time beating the living pudding out of the poor thing. She presented it to her with an imperious air, as if to say, "Here is the horrid creature I have slain for you, O She With the Opposable Thumbs, She With Access to the Cat Food Bag. Accept my sacrifice, O Mistress. (Then c'm'ere and pet me, dammit. It's been a long day.)"
The most fun, though? That would be the Cat Dancer. It's basically a length of semi-stiff wire with a few coils of brown paper wrapped in either end; the idea is that the human (you) holds on to one end and shakes it very gently, and the cat (she) completely blows a gasket, because evidently this doohickey is THE COOLEST THING EVER. Lemme tell ya, it's the best $1.95 you'll ever spend. The expression on the cat's face alone is worth the price of admission: "I'm...going...to...get..that...little... *lunge* F*!# it, hold still, you... *lunge* F*@$ing... *lunge* *bat* *fall* *lunge*"
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm jealous.
For those of you who have never had the enviable opportunity to clip a cat's claws, allow me to offer the following advice: don't. It doesn't hurt the li'l bugger, assuming you do it right, but something about the process of pushing on each toe pad one by one and snipping with a teeny pair of glorified bolt cutters turns even the sweetest little kitten into Simba the Flesh-Devouring Serengeti-Beast. It's a comparable experience to, say, flossing a rabid muskrat on crank with your fingers Scotch-taped together. If you must clip a cat's claws, though, don't even think of trying it alone. Our process was to have
rafaela hold Sunny bundled up like a meatloaf in a flannel shirt while I went at her like the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors, and prayed. Hard.Sunny's an odd little critter. She's been having a grand time this weekend chasing bugs, both real and imagined. This afternoon, Anna tells me, the cat carried my stuffed monkey Barf (short for "Barfulous") to her, after spending some time beating the living pudding out of the poor thing. She presented it to her with an imperious air, as if to say, "Here is the horrid creature I have slain for you, O She With the Opposable Thumbs, She With Access to the Cat Food Bag. Accept my sacrifice, O Mistress. (Then c'm'ere and pet me, dammit. It's been a long day.)"
The most fun, though? That would be the Cat Dancer. It's basically a length of semi-stiff wire with a few coils of brown paper wrapped in either end; the idea is that the human (you) holds on to one end and shakes it very gently, and the cat (she) completely blows a gasket, because evidently this doohickey is THE COOLEST THING EVER. Lemme tell ya, it's the best $1.95 you'll ever spend. The expression on the cat's face alone is worth the price of admission: "I'm...going...to...get..that...little... *lunge* F*!# it, hold still, you... *lunge* F*@$ing... *lunge* *bat* *fall* *lunge*"
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm jealous.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-24 11:18 pm (UTC)1) Pillowcases. And a towel.
2) Not trying to do all four paws at once.
In general, I find that putting most of a cat in a pillowcase is the best way to isolate the cat parts you need to do something to.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 09:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 12:42 am (UTC)Thanks for this. I depend on you for lines like these. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 09:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 01:58 am (UTC)There is a toy that Petsmart sells, and I think Walmart, where there is a mouse tied to a long elastic string attached to a pole, which is then attached to an over-the-door clip. Clip is put on the door, pole sticks out, string and mousey dangle... and kitty jumps. Kitty catches mouse, pulls it away to show mama and daddy, mouse goes *poing!* in the other direction, and kitty goes beserk.
I would laugh until I nearly peed myself watching Jelly play with that.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 09:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 05:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 09:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 10:08 am (UTC)Cutting nails? Nevah! That task was delegated to Dave many moon ago.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-10-25 09:15 pm (UTC)