Holy mackerel...

At work, I rounded the corner and nearly tripped over Cindy kneeling on the floor. She was redoing the attendance bulletin board, which was put up to help remind us to make our monthly attendance numbers (mainly because the Union won't allow management to utilize the cat-o'-nine-tails any more). Cindy was switching the decor to match the office's new "fish" theme (don't ask), cutting out angelfish from construction paper and the like.

Cindy: I need to think of a good slogan. Something fish-related, that has to do with attendance.
Me: I know! How about, "Make your attendance numbers, or we'll beat the carp out of you?"

They didn't use it. Bastards.