Evil Cute Fluffy Things

She's only the approximate size of a meatloaf for three. She has no opposable thumbs. And yet, as I watch the cat tear into the futon, the carpet, and anything else suitable like a crack addict searching the couch cushions for loose change, I am fully convinced that the little *@$#!& has somehow hidden the squirt bottle. Boy, do I love animals.

[EDIT: Aha! Anna just spotted the bottle under the coffee table! All right, Fur-Thing, you're going down...]

10 things I have

1) A work shift today that will actually find me home before 9 p.m.
2) The sorriest excuse for a budding goatee you've ever seen. (I'm avoiding Anna's suggestion that I go for simply a mustache, out of fear that I'd end up looking like Viv Stanshall of the Bonzo Dog Band.)
3) A forthcoming Saturday with the young'uns, possibly with an Advil-fueled trip to Magic Forest in the wings.
4) A $500 deductible.
5) A headache. (See #4.)
6) Leftover sesame chicken in the fridge.
7) A cat who's got a taste for jailbreaks and the claw-sharpening talents of my bookbag.
8) Library books, mostly nonfiction.
9) Roughly 27,906 new puzzles in my notebook that I need to get flippin' typed up already, dammit.
10) Um...