Well, that does wonders for my Workplace Morale

Not long ago, as some of you may recall, my office consolidated its North Atlantic and Mid-Atlantic regions for operator services. Fine and jim flippin' dandy, except that now the Powers That be have decided that our new, not-so-much-improved-as-congenitally-joined region needs a new name, under the delusion that (a) anyone under the Powers That be give a rat's patootie what the region is named, and (b) "Atlantic" just isn't good enough, dammit. Given, however, that this is the company that went from New York Telephone to NYNEX to Bell Atlantic to Verizon in less than 15 years, full speed ahead we go.

So here's where the Workplace Morale thing comes in: to make our work lives more quote-fun-unquote, theyre holding a contest to come up with a new division name and accomanying logo, with a nifty prize for the winner.

I'll give you a moment to think about the directions I took this in. Yeah, exactly.

Here's my ideas to far, none of which I've had the testicular fortitude to actually submit:

* Wage Slaves a-Go-Go (Actually, I did bounce this one off of Judy, my manager. Her verdict: "Um, no." Damn.)
* Abuse on Demand
* Big Zeroes
* iDorks
* Speed Freaks with Headsets
* Ivan Seidenberg's Cabana Boys (credit rafaela with that one)
* Fast, Cheap and Out of Control
* Yes, You Can Call Us "Bitch"
* Rats in Cages
* Like Caligula with Computers
* Needs More Cowbell

My coworker Colleen tried to write her own, but only came up with one; I won't repeat it here, but suffice it to say that if she is able to craft an appropriate logo, they'll probably have to leave it out of the TV ads. Oh, and based on the suggestion of another coworker, rafaela was kind enough to come up with the Latin phrase for "Hemorrhaging Money." Let's give it up for Verizon! Multinational corporate conglomerate's in tha house!