Blogathon: My kingdom for a wah-wah pedal

This one kind of overlaps previous material, but since felisdemens took the trouble of texting it to me personally, the least I could do is oblige:

11 Things Not for Sexin'

1) Roombas
2) spatulas
3) llamas
4) bassoons
5) Jesse Helms
6) Chick tracts
7) The U.S. Constitution
8) volleyballs
9) gelatinous cubes
10) bagpipes
11) that greasy heroin pusher hanging out behind the monkey house


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Blogathon: It IS one of those days, come to think

Yay, Sunday. Yay, less than nine hours to go. Yay, Frank the Rubber Chicken. Yay, lasagna. Yay, list suggestion from cyan_blue:

I Knew It Was Going to Be One of Those Days When...

1) ...I woke up and didn't know what day it was. And neither did the nun who was making me coffee.

2) ...the phone call began, "Um, remember your car?"

3) ...I was earwormed on the Psycho theme.

4) ...frickin' ninjas.

5) ...my penis once again became the topic of conversation. Aiee.


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Blogathon: Calgon, take me away!

I am momentarily distracted by food, but not so distracted that I can't dip into the Hat of Destiny. Take it away, idiomagic! (And I spelled it right this time!)

5 Fictional Worlds and Universes You Wouldn't Mind Emigrating To

1) Edgewood (Little, Big)
2) Narnia (The Chronicles of Narnia)
3) The Lodges (my own book, and I don't care if it's cheating)
4) Mythago Wood, or at least near enough that I can viit and then go home afterward because it kind of freaks me out a bit
5) Pennterra


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Many thanks to pseydtonne and daev for their generous donations!

Blogathon: Hell, even Sid Vicious could have Chunky Junkie

Suggested by avivadesai, first tackled by eustaciavye, and now it's in my sweaty li'l paws:

Least Likely Performers to Get a Ben & Jerry's Flavor (and Why)

1) Ann Coulter: Frankly, something as cold as ice cream would be redundant.

2) Ian Curtis: Ice cream and utter abject misery simply do not mix.

3) William Shatner: And neither do ice cream and ham, thank you very much.

4) Kenny G: "WARNING: Close proximity to carton may be fatal to diabetics. Handle with care."

5) Pauly Shore: Doing so would be the first sign of the coming apocalypse.


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Blogathon: Ohhh, sugar, your single withholding gets me soooo hot

I pulled this one from jenphalian earlier, but tossed it back into the hat for a later post time:

Ways to Improve the Sex Appeal of the Accounting Industry

1) The old porn standard whip-off-librarian-glasses-shake-hair-out-of-bun-and-mount-the-desk thing is at your disposal. Use liberally.

2) Look, I know for a demonstrated fact that not all accountants look like Ernest Borgnine in a suit. How's about using some of the non-Ed Asner types in the commercials, huh?

3) Two words: lap audits.

4) It's not like you can't afford an open bar at your offices, people.

5) Fewer electronic transfers. More cold, hard, pliable cash.

Gads, that was more difficult than I thought....


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A zillion thanks to bikergeek for his donation! We're at $338! Woohoo!

Blogathon: No longer Barney, thank the maker

This could be a long one. From weyrdbird:

Games / Books / Cartoons / Etc. My Children Are Obsessed With

1) Bakugan: This is the latest one. It's a pseudo-Pokemon kind of thing with these funky little Transformerish plastic balls that pop out into monsters. The one and only thing Nik asked for for his birthday.

2) Leave It To Pyoko: Abbey was quite distressed when I was unmoved by the episodes she showed me on YouTube. Sorry, Abbey.

3) Hayao Miyazaki: Abbey again. I'm so proud.

4) Webkins: Second Life meets Beanie Babies. I don't know how much time the niblets spend on the website, but it's clearly way too much.

5) Power Rangers: I didn't even know they still existed. Nik's big thing.

6) The Game of Life: Nik again. (Milton Bradley, not John Horton Conway.)

7) Corbin Blue, and the rest of the High School Musical cast: Abbey is 11. Save me.


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Blogathon: Meet my hard limits

eustaciavye tossed a handful of list suggestions into the Hat of Destiny at 9 a.m., and I finally drew one:

Top 8 Lists that I'm Not Blogging Today

These were all suggestions that didn't end up in the hat, and you know who you are. Sorry.

1) Cryptic clues for members of Team Venture where the surface reading references a different member of Team Venture (or some other unifying theme): Requires a lot more brain cells than I'm going to muster in this project.

2) The first joke you remember from childhood, and the first dirty joke: Not much of a list, sadly. Besides, the dirty jokes kids tell are horrid, long-winded, and not even remotely funny.

3) If someone were making a themed cake for your birthday, what should the decorations be representations of?: Couldn't latch onto the concept, try as I might.

4) Write a sexually explicit haiku using the words "lemur" and "revanchist": Haiku =/= list.

5) Poignant moments in the life and death of robots constructed for the purpose of sculpting heaps of unused red blood cells into intricate tableaux featuring scenes from the Mahabharata: *blink* Wait, what?

6) Practical Ways to violate/ravage a mermaid (be she little or not): Jumpin' Jesus on a jet ski, I am not going there.

7) Top 10 favorite filk songs (and who recorded them, if your favorite recording isn't by the original artist): Don't even know ten filk songs. Seriously.

8) Top 10 people you wouldn't want to see (or know of) the [REDACTED]: Um...some of those people read this thing.


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Blogathon: *scribble*cuss*erase*erase*erase*

tablesaw hit me with all the word game geek topics. Such as:

Top 5 Words / Phrases I'm Dying to Work Into a Crossword Grid

1) JACKIE LOMAX
2) WHIZ-BANG
3) QUIZ SHOW
4) BAG OF CHIPS ("All that and a ______ [3 wds]")
5) BOOGER (Go on, editors. I dare you to edit me. I dare you!)

Keepin' 'em even shorter now, in the interest of sanity. Or, y'know, whatever it is I've got now.


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Blogathon: OoooWEEEEoooo....

Hey, look, another one from eustaciavye! Set phasers to random, men:

Strange Things Seen at Places Other Than a Sci-Fi Con or SCA Event

1) In an Illinois computer lab hallway at 1 a.m., a bunch of us spotted a group of about 30 Boy Scouts in full uniform, standing there for no discernable reason. No explanation for their presence has ever been determined.

2) Also at the U of Illinois, they have a cow with a window installed. Honest.

3) Somewhere there's a photo of the 400 police cars that were parked within a three-block section of Maple Street in Oneonta, NY, when we were living close enough to take said photo from our driveway.

4) A blimp-attack squirrel. (jenphalian's fault, mostly.)

5) Most Chris Cunningham videos. 'Nuff said.


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Blogathon: *twang*

Have I gotten to any of yours yet, sionainn? Can't recall. Anywho:

List of Songs That All Use the Same Sequence of Chords

Hmm...well, if you go with Am-G-F-E7 (or any similar progression):

1) "Stray Cat Strut," The Stray Cats
2) "Fogtown," Michelle Shocked
3) "The Cat Came Back," traditional
4) "Runaway," Dion and the Belmonts
5) "Walk, Don't Run," The Ventures (if you change the Am to A)

Wow, that was...coherent. (Shan't take it for granted, though.)


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Blogathon: Aiee! Not the coffee ta—*crash*

More eustaciavye:

Perplexing Things My Cats Do

1) Sunny seems to be of the opinion that she is a raccoon. She routinely washes her paws in her water dish, which is utterly adorable, if a bit confusing.

2) Lucy has a more healthy relationship with the water dish, except for the time she decided to dive head-first into it from atop the garbage can.

3) We have taught Lucy how to play "fetch." Or, as rafaela has pointed out, she has taught us to play "throw." (It's a very cat-like game of fetch: she'll bring back the straw to about three feet away, to prove that she could bring it back if she wanted, but that would look too much like obedience.)

4) Sunny will sit outside out bedroom door and meow, even when she knows perfectly well that we're both in the living room five feet away.

5) They chase inviible stuff. That's fairly standard, though.

Oh, and idiomagic? Fellow Team Venture soldier ewin has just proven me deeply wrong about the feasibility of your request:

Soft and lemur-like
Your hands, which I refused,
Make revanchist advance.

I'm not holding you to the $20 pledge, but if you insist, it should go to her.


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Blogathon: Resistance is inconvenient

I forgot to write down who contribute this one, but it has all the earmarks of a felisdemens thing:

Least Useful Borg Attachments

1) margarita blender
2) VHS adapter
3) Twitter software
4) spork
5) weed whacker
6) Catalan-to-Esperanto dictionary
7) sock monkey
8) spoiler
9) candy dispenser
10) banjo

*reads*

Yep. The Hour of Stupid has arrived.


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Blogathon: *INHALE* *EXHALE*

Another avivasedai one:

Top Things Darth Vader Secretly Regretted Never Doing

Okay, must censor out the first twelve Padme-related quotes that have sprung to mind....

1) Never finished recording that demo with the old band

2) Never took cello lessons

3) Should've played with more bunnies!

4) When lopping off Luke's hand, shoulda said, "Well, son, I've got to hand it to you...."

5) Never drunk-dialed Yoda.


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Blogathon: Oy, this is rapidly becoming a travesty

Gads, if you knew how goofy it's gotten around here, you'd shake your head in sorrow and shame. We've reached the hour that not only am I laughing at everything, I'm snorting when I do it. Floop.

Anyway. rubian77 wanted this one:

Hobbies You've Given Up for One Reason or Another

For some reason, I'm going to give this an honest answer:

1) domino toppling
2) winemaking
3) matchbook collecting
4) ....

Ehh, fuck it. Fake answers are more fun:

1) monkey polishing
2) full-contact bingo
3) sedition
4) bondage frisbee
5) autographs of Swedish morticians

Um, yeah. I got nothin'.


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Blogathon: ARE WE DONE YET?

I've been sorely neglecting amalthya's suggestions all day and night, it seems. I suck. So:

Reasons for Seeing a Nicolas Cage Willingly

1) Because the man can keep a straight face through anything.

2) Because he never lets on that he's slumming, no matter how badly he is.

3) Because he's got the same puzzled expression of a Yorkshire terrier being taught how to fetch.

4) Because you may get lucky and end up with an Adaptation or Peggy Sue Got Married.

5) What else is there to do on a Tuesday night?


Blogathon!

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Blogathon: Bail faster, twinkies! Bail faster!

We have finally reached the point where I lack the coherence to prepare anything with the level of organization of a list. From here on out, I will be doing my final four Bogathon entries as freestyles.

In this capacity, allow me to entertain you all with an original jawharp solo:

*twang*twanggga*twoing*twaiiingy*twing*twangety*twang*twannnnnng*

Thank you. *bows*


Blogathon!

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Blogathon: I yearn for the release that death will bring

Going on in the other room, even as we speak?

Collective dramatic readings of Laurell K. Hamilton sex scenes. Like, the ones Hamilton wrote after she fired her editor.

It is entirely too wee an hour for my brain to be broken like this. Ow. Ow, ow, OW.

One hour to go....


Blogathon!

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Blogathon: *test pattern*

Hm. I wonder if I can type this post with my face....

66y757ftgyhnh bgtvnu

Um. That would be a no.

Almost done....

Blogathon!

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Blogathon: *thunk*

It's over. Thank fuck.


Blogathon!

Raising money for the American Cancer Society. Make your pledge here!

Hi. F'list, meet coma. Coma, f'list. Get acquainted amongst yourselves.

After some of the scariest weather I've ever seen, hideous MassPike traffic and damn near falling asleep at the wheel, Anna and I are safely back in New York. I am saving a full Team Venture report for later, when I am more coherent, which shall not be today. For now, I'll just say that I have the most wonderful friends in the known universe, and these friends, both old and new, are what make Blogathon (and life itself) worthwhile.

A thousand thanks to all the members of the pit crew and to everyone who read, commented, donated and kept us going. And to my fellow Team Venturians, I love every last one of you guys; thank you again for making it such a wonderful, amazing time.

Again, full report later. But now, I go do my imitation of a throw rug for 27 hours.