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O HAI CALLR U SUK
Oct. 18th, 2008 11:09 pmA few messages to pass on from my lovely day at the telecommunications salt mines:
Dear Wingnut Lady From Upstate New York,
The correct answer to, "I'm sorry, that number is blocked for collect calls" is not, "Okay, I'll call back." Especially when:
a) you actually do call back
b) trying to call collect to the same number
c) repeatedly
d) at 30 second intervals
e) for hours on end
f) as you have every day for the last eight months.
Since we have firmly established that you are not going to get your collect call through, thank you very much, perhaps your time would be better served elsewhere, preferably in a foreign country with an inadequate phone system and an unusually high communicable disease rate.
Hate,
Adam
Dear Cranky Red Sox Fan(s),
I understand that you're upset that the Red Sox game isn't showing on your TV right now like it's supposed to. And I know you want to call your local FIOS/cable TV service center to complain about this. But let's take a moment to think, shall we? Yes, let's: if your complaint reads, "The game isn't on, and there's some stupid sitcom on instead," I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that THIS IS NOT A SERVICE ISSUE. And no, your repeated kvetching that you "pay for this service" is not going to magically make The Steve Harvey Show go away and your sainted Sox materialize before your very eyes. Deal.
Hope using your head as a doorstop is working out for you,
Adam
Dear Creepy Moose-Fellating F*cktard in New Jersey Who Has Spent Ten Hours Calling the Operator From a Pay Phone and Mumbling About the Rolling Stones Over and Over and OVER Again,
I hope something huge, pointy, rock-like and foul-smelling falls on you from a great height, and keeps you pinned to the sidewalk long enough for a pack of lice-infested rabid coyotes to show up and devour your gonads. Just before the Gangrene Fairy stops for a visit. (And you had better not dial 0 to complain about it, d*ckwad.)
Wishing you death by fire ants,
Adam
Yeah, it was a day. Home now. Happy about that.
Dear Wingnut Lady From Upstate New York,
The correct answer to, "I'm sorry, that number is blocked for collect calls" is not, "Okay, I'll call back." Especially when:
a) you actually do call back
b) trying to call collect to the same number
c) repeatedly
d) at 30 second intervals
e) for hours on end
f) as you have every day for the last eight months.
Since we have firmly established that you are not going to get your collect call through, thank you very much, perhaps your time would be better served elsewhere, preferably in a foreign country with an inadequate phone system and an unusually high communicable disease rate.
Hate,
Adam
Dear Cranky Red Sox Fan(s),
I understand that you're upset that the Red Sox game isn't showing on your TV right now like it's supposed to. And I know you want to call your local FIOS/cable TV service center to complain about this. But let's take a moment to think, shall we? Yes, let's: if your complaint reads, "The game isn't on, and there's some stupid sitcom on instead," I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that THIS IS NOT A SERVICE ISSUE. And no, your repeated kvetching that you "pay for this service" is not going to magically make The Steve Harvey Show go away and your sainted Sox materialize before your very eyes. Deal.
Hope using your head as a doorstop is working out for you,
Adam
Dear Creepy Moose-Fellating F*cktard in New Jersey Who Has Spent Ten Hours Calling the Operator From a Pay Phone and Mumbling About the Rolling Stones Over and Over and OVER Again,
I hope something huge, pointy, rock-like and foul-smelling falls on you from a great height, and keeps you pinned to the sidewalk long enough for a pack of lice-infested rabid coyotes to show up and devour your gonads. Just before the Gangrene Fairy stops for a visit. (And you had better not dial 0 to complain about it, d*ckwad.)
Wishing you death by fire ants,
Adam
Yeah, it was a day. Home now. Happy about that.
