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Kneel before the Xeroxslayer!
Dec. 4th, 2013 02:23 pmI was just walking past the central copier/printer/scanner, which had it guts splayed across the floor like a medical diagram and two repair guys going at it with gewgaws of mystery. As I gingerly tried to step past the carnage, one of the repair guys noticed me and jabbed his partner in the shoulder to point me out. "That's him. That's the guy."
I hid behind the stack of paperwork I clutched in my fist and backed away a step. "What guy?"
"You're the Scanman," he said, and I shrank back further.
I didn't know about the nickname, but I did understand what he was referring to. The copier was in a state of gory disarray because the sheet feeder had been chronically jamming. It had been jamming because of the sheer volume of scanned documents being fed through it on a daily basis. And that scanning, by and large, was mine. Because that, dear friends, is what I do, all day, every day. I'm not the only one who uses the sheet feeder, but I'm the only one who can say that my continued employment rests on those two rollers and that paper tray. Basically I had worked the poor beast into early death by exhaustion like a damn Tauntaun.
"Man," I whined, "I just work here."
As I said, not the only one using the thing, but I still had to blink into the klieg lights when I heard that the company is now considering springing for a commercial-grade machine mostly to accommodate me. My clerical minion status is mighty!
EDIT: We just had a fire drill. Some guy in front of me on the stairs turned around and said, "Hey, it's the Scanman!" I'm nipping this thing in the bud.
I hid behind the stack of paperwork I clutched in my fist and backed away a step. "What guy?"
"You're the Scanman," he said, and I shrank back further.
I didn't know about the nickname, but I did understand what he was referring to. The copier was in a state of gory disarray because the sheet feeder had been chronically jamming. It had been jamming because of the sheer volume of scanned documents being fed through it on a daily basis. And that scanning, by and large, was mine. Because that, dear friends, is what I do, all day, every day. I'm not the only one who uses the sheet feeder, but I'm the only one who can say that my continued employment rests on those two rollers and that paper tray. Basically I had worked the poor beast into early death by exhaustion like a damn Tauntaun.
"Man," I whined, "I just work here."
As I said, not the only one using the thing, but I still had to blink into the klieg lights when I heard that the company is now considering springing for a commercial-grade machine mostly to accommodate me. My clerical minion status is mighty!
EDIT: We just had a fire drill. Some guy in front of me on the stairs turned around and said, "Hey, it's the Scanman!" I'm nipping this thing in the bud.
