Just me, your friendly neighborhood lab rat

[slipjig3]

The Holter monitor: Ten electrodes kludged down with tape and a $4,000 electronic data-gathering doohickey on a belt. (I know the price, because it's on the you-break-you-buy-it-you-doorknob form they make you sign.) And I get to wear it for 24 hours, he said to everyone's mortal envy. It's a little secret under my clothes, like lingerie, only really annoying and far less likely to get me into bed with anyone. (rafaela summarized it well: "That...kinda ruins it for me." I hear you, sweetie.)

Not a big deal, really. More than anything, it feels like it did when I was younger and would plaster the wet washcloth over my chest in the bathtub. And since it's under my shirt, monitor and all, I don't have to look at the thing, which is good since in their infinite wisdom they did up the wires in that same shade of sickly pink you see in hair roller sets from the 1960's. I don't even so much mind that antiseptic hospital smell that somehow comes with the package, but I do have a concern for my skin, which tends to be sensitive and is not especially fond of:
a) spot shaving without cream;
b) abrasive gel;
c) textured adhesive electrode pads shoved into place; and/or
d) paper tape that I'm praying I'm not allergic to.
And I don't even want to think about getting this stuff ripped off tomorrow.

Oh, and is it wrong of me to be thinking, throughout the entire procedure, "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster...."

Comments

[zeyr.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, to qualify for the rebuild package, you need to first fit in under the "a man barely alive" concept.

Too bad. Everyone goes for a bionic musician, I hear...

[fibro-witch.livejournal.com]

At least your not wearing it during the warm weather.

I had a bit of a rash for a few days where the electrodes were. Not much else. My nurse did not rip them off, so much as slowly peel. More painful in my opinion.

Don't forget to watch the clock, and be specific with your 'what i was doing' stuff. During one event, I wrote down, 'sitting on couch watching tv" and the nurse wanted to know what program.

[spoothbrush.livejournal.com]

I have electrode marks all over my face!

I feel like someone should be following me around saying "Igor, bring me a brain."

[knotwork.livejournal.com]

So, when will the doctor read that recording you made??