88 Lines About 44 Fangirls: The Post That Would Not Die

[slipjig3]

By popular demand, I'm posting the lyrics to this thing. A few disclaimers before we begin:

1) It works better when heard rather than read. I'd hoped to do a phone post, but I don't have it down quite yet (even with the lyrics in front of me). In the meantime, you can refresh your memory as to how the original sounded here.

2) The reference to rafaela is deliberate; any other similarity between anyone mentioned within and anyone reading this journal is purely coincidental. In short, if you see your name here, it's here because the syllable count worked.

3) Yes, I'll probably perform it someday. Eventually.


*deep breath* Right, then:

88 Lines About 44 Fangirls

Dana thought she lived on Dune
She called her crystal meth "melange"
Fran was stuck in Middle Earth
Built hobbit holes in her garage

Wanda craved a Highlander
For her, there could be only one
Jane the Trekkie beamed me up
And kept her cleavage set to stun

---

Anna only loved the Doctor
Four and Nine and Five and Ten
Elizabeth was user-friendly
Plaything of the Midwest fen

Mary-Catherine wrapped me up
Like Katamari Damacy
Marcy needed better stats
Charisma: 20, Wisdom: 3

---

Colleen was from a comic book
Her spandex bursting at the seams
Belinda dressed up all in brass
Fulfilled my Princess Leia dreams

Connie turned me on to Sandman
Death had never looked so fine
Gretchen was a vampire slay'r
Showed me her stake, I showed her mine

---

Jessie hitchhiked down from space
I told her, "Thanks for all the fish"
Hannah cosplayed Princess Bride
All I could say was, "As you wish"

Cheryl donned a schoolgirl skirt
And begged me for my tentacle
Kim was like Excalibur
Forever swinging, never dull

---

Ellen told me she was Batgirl
Turned out she was only bats
Tanya was a wonder woman
Lassoed me in nothing flat

Lana let me in her Stargate
Sent me 'cross the galaxy
Victoria was an X-Files freak
The truth was out there; so was she

---

Elaine watched too much Battlestar
She had a thing for one-eyed men
Peggy slipped her fishnets on
We did the Time Warp once again

Cindy had the cell phone number
THX-1138
Gwen looked like Hermione
She always made me levitate

---

Andrea could LARP 'til dawn
She played her part with verve and glee
Pat had Firefly on the brain
In her, I found serenity

Sammi had a Warcraft habit
Left when I ran out of cash
Prue already had a boyfriend
Put my name behind the slash

---

Allie loved her Magic cards
Red mana was her favorite drug
Vera was a cyberpunk
The doctor helped her get debugged

Quinn read manga night and day
She had me turning Japanese
Joanna played a slave of Gor
She had the cuffs, I had the keys

---

Chris stood like a monolith
I met her in 2001
Tricia lived for Matrix flicks
We very nearly jumped the gun

Laura's dates were like Sin City
Always ended with a bang
Lucy dug Anita Blake
She wouldn't fuck without the fangs

---

Val collected Darkover
She got an MZB tattoo
Kate was horny for Lestat
We skipped right past the interview

Susie liked Vallejo art
She dressed in chain mail lingerie
Morgan was a furry girl
I hollered, "Fetch!" and ran away

---

Gail read Spider Robinson
Thought every bar was Callahan's
Marjorie wrote filk by day
At night, made me her biggest fan

Paula searched for Narnia
We did it on the closet floor
But Nellie's saner than the rest
That's why she's Fangirl 44


© Adam Fromm 2007

(Hang on, let my get my tomato screen up...)

Comments

[vulpine137.livejournal.com]

*laughs out loud* Huzzah :)

I love it.

[atalantapendrag.livejournal.com]

WIN

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

Awsm

[jaderikus.livejournal.com]

Awesome!

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

Jen and I both say ADAM FTW!!

[felisdemens.livejournal.com]

OMGOMGOMGOMG. You are made of win, chocolate, and the ejaculate of seraphim. Linking.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

You are made of win, chocolate, and the ejaculate of seraphim.

I totally want this on my tombstone. Thank you!

[tinhuviel.livejournal.com]

WOW.

May I save this to my memories please?

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Sure! *blush*

[dicotomygrrl.livejournal.com]

*sigh* you're so dreamy! Thanks hon, this is sooooo good! I am totally linking to this! I's still giggling....

[raptorgirl.livejournal.com]

Found this through felisdemens. Brilliant! You are made of win.

hello from greyweirdo friends list

[darkpattern.livejournal.com]

I've only read the first two stanzas, and it's already the greatest thing I've read today.

I want this song.

[hughcasey.livejournal.com]

Sent here by many friends referrals. All I can say is...

(http://photobucket.com)

I am SO cross-posting to this...

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

What Hugh said! WHAT HUGH SAID!!!

[mllelaurel.livejournal.com]

You win at life!

[mick-hale.livejournal.com]

You, sir, are going to hell. I'm jealous of your filking abilities.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

Whee!XD

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

OMFG genius.

[patchwerkgirl.livejournal.com]

F T W ! ! !

Wow, may I x-post this and email it (with credit, of course) to my lame friends w/o LJ?

Hilarity ensues

[daev.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth was user-friendly
Plaything of the Midwest fen

Oh. My. God. Must catch a breath soon lest I suffocate.

Paula searched for Narnia
We did it on the closet floor

Wardrobe floor, surely, except that's harder to sing.

So how long did it take you to come up with all the different fan subcultures? I figure the dirty jokes were no problem. :-)

Re: Hilarity ensues

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Writing the thing took between three and four hours, hardly distratcing me from my telephone operator duties at all. *cough*

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Woot, you rule!!!

88/ 44/ 2 = "it goes to 11"

[happyfunpaul.livejournal.com]

This rocks, paper, and scissors. May I cover it?

(I'm not sure how to do the backing instrumentation, mind you... even if I could simulate it well enough on guitar, which I doubt, I'd be too busy with the vocals.)

- Happy Fun Paul, of Dr. Snark

Re: 88/ 44/ 2 = "it goes to 11"

[gorgeousgary]

Hmm...get the right group of folks to do the backing a-capella and you could pull it off.

Yes, I'll be at Boskone, and I shamelessly volunteer... 8-)

[rhiannonstone.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

[songwind.livejournal.com]

Loved it!

[poltr1]

Oh man. This is way cool. This one's a keeper.

[ex-digitals.livejournal.com]

Jessie hitchhiked down from space
I told her, "Thanks for all the fish"
Hannah cosplayed Princess Bride
All I could say was, "As you wish"

*Genuflects*

Please, PLEASE let me use this as a lead to this post?

[drwex]

That's brilliant!

The song has the feel of a filk and really does beg to be filked itself. This is a nice one.

[scouseboy.livejournal.com]

Gotta say... perfect.

[thatcrazycajun.livejournal.com]

What more can I add that others haven't posted here already? (I particularly liked the "ejaculate of seraphim" line.) Truly inspired and funny. You are SO getting linked (and friended) for this.