What passes for business around here

[slipjig3]

I would like to take a moment to profile some of the names that adorn some of our local business here in the Warren/Washington/Saratoga county region, and ask myself, "At what point did my existence become a parody of itself?" (I swear am making none of these up; all are within a 15-minute drive from here.)

Custer's Firewater and Barbecue Complete with "authentic" redskin Injun ugh-how-and-meet-me-at-the-powwow decor. Located on the same Route 9 as the legendary tepee-shaped T-shirt shop outside Lake George. What fun.

Lake Taco This one's a relatively new Lake George addition, built after half a block of downtown burned to cinders, so I'm still at the stage where I can't help but blink whenever I see it. It's the sheer randomness of it that gets me—if you'd asked me a year ago if anyone would ever use the words "lake" and "taco" together without either intervening words or irony quotes, I'd have spit out my Kahlua.

Poopie di Manno's Lunch Inc. Yes, using the proprietor's nickname adds color, but really, there are times when simply "Bob" or "Mike" is preferable. I can't even get past "Poopie" long enough to comment on the "Inc."

Auto Saviors No, this is not a typo. It's even better when you see the sign out front:

I keep picturing something akin to that Far Side cartoon about appliance faith healers: "I command the demons fowling this carburetor to come OUT! The Power of Christ compels you! BEGONE! [laying on of hands] Okay, Sully! Try cranking it now!"

Sun City Tanning Salon Dear Jesus on a jet-ski, do I wish I were kidding. I can't even imagine the conversations that led to this one. "We need a name for our tanning business. Y'know, something clever and punny...I know! Wasn't there a song called 'Sun City' back in the 80's that, like, Bruce Springsteen sang on?" Um, no. I think someone finally took them aside and gently explained that borrowing the name of the central symbol of Apartheid-era South Africa for a business whose focus is on altering skin color might not be the best of plans, because they eventually changed it to "The Sun Club." Except that they simply slapped the new sign over the old one, which is fine until they turn the lights on. The stupid marches on.

So. How about your town?

Comments

[magnifelyn.livejournal.com]

Adam, this post is The Awesome. :-)

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*laugh* *bow*

[tnjade.livejournal.com]

We have Jimmy's Chicago Style Hot Dogs & Pizza.

There's a purple building in Raleigh/Frayser* that promises "QUALTY WORK".

*There is a parody song entitled "Deep In The Heart Of Frayser" that embodies the essence of Frayser

Um...I got nothin'.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't knock Chicago-style hot dogs. They are a very distinct entity from dogs found elsewhere, much as Chicago-style pizza's not the same as, say, New York pizza.

[tnjade.livejournal.com]

Oh, they're wonderful. And Jimmy and Mrs. Jimmy are delightful people. :) We go there ~once/week, but when we didn't go for a while, he moved, and we thought he closed and we felt responsible.

He had to close temporarily for taxes, and tons of people came by and donated.

[sibylla.livejournal.com]

There's a CPA firm called Swindull & Company. If you say that quickly around here, it comes out as "Swindlin' company", a fine name for a bunch of certified public accountants.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*snerk* I couldn't even have written something that good. (Although I'm reminded of a pair of a police squad partners named Goforth and Ketchum. Honest.)

[mentalmakeup.livejournal.com]

In Etobicoke (technically still Toronto but nobody means it), there is a hairdresser's called "Peter's Hair'em". Now I'm aware that hair places are particularly vulnerable to the bad pun, but who in their right mind would ever go into that place? Ugh.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, don't get me started on hair salon names. *shudder* After seeing my first place called Curl Up and Dye (there are several; this was on Clark St. in Chicago), all else pales.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

We've got a Curl Up & Dye in MN. We've also got a tanning salon called Tangerine Dreams. Egad.

[jenphalian.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if the following will actually count as a defense of the owners of Sun Club (they're clients of my firm... and I'm ignoring that remark about CPAs a couple comments up, by the way...). I am nearly 100% certain that said owners are blissfully unaware of the Apartheid reference, or, in fact, what Apartheid means or where South Africa is. They're good old Glens Falls boys.

The name was changed when they changed entities (Sch C to Corp). And yes, I tan there. I get a discount. *shame*

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Oh, I had no doubt the name was the result of ignorance and/or obliviousness. That didn't stop me from shaking my head in amazement for months whenever we drove by.

Oh, and yes, I'm clicking my tongue at you derisively. Silly girl.

[jenphalian.livejournal.com]

I'll probably stop (or at least significantly slow) now that I know my depression hasn't been so much seasonal as cyst-related. Trust me, I wasn't going for that golden-brown deep-fried effect.

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Yet again, you have made me laugh.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*grin* Thank you! I aim to please!

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

No, it's not photoshopped.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*blink* Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

*looks it up*

*laughs*

Yeah, that's what we thought, too. "For when your nipples need to recover from an injury, come to the Nipple Convalescent Home." "Aureoles a-achin'? Call the Nipple Convalescent Home!"

It's right across from the post office. I see it EVERY DAY.