And remember: what works on phone cables will likely also work on spinal cords

[slipjig3]

To the party or parties in Maryland who succeeded in cutting a major trunk line this evening, thus leaving thousands and thousands of customers from a dozen different local providers without any long distance service whatsoever, leaving them with perpetual reorder signals and no other choice but to call the operator to bitch about their "little problem," I offer the following wish:

May a roving posse of syphilitic Presbyterian yaks take an unhealthy interest in your nether regions, preferably with six skate-punks with camcorders and YouTube accounts, local law inforcement and your mom in attendance, followed by compulsory naked pudding wrestling against nine unshaven guys named Jim-Bob.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Comments

[bikergeek.livejournal.com]

Wasn't me. I left Maryland at maybe six-ish PM Sunday night when I crossed over into Delaware. Haven't been back since. (Left Bawlmer at 5:00-ish PM and I'm figuring it took me an hour to drive to the state line.)

We call that a "BIFF"--Backhoe Induced Fiber Failure.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

We call that a "BIFF"--Backhoe Induced Fiber Failure.

*splorfle* I am so using that.

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

You're warped...I like that in a friend...

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*grin* *bow* I aim to please.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Ehh. I suppose we can open it up to the remaining Protestant franchises. As long as they're wearing ties.

[malefica-v.livejournal.com]

Oooh, the venomous kiss-off: "Thank you for your attention to this matter." When I send emails at work, that's code for "please masturbate with a skunk and a chainsaw, but only AFTER you cough up the items we're waiting for."

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

*gigglefits* Ohh, too true.

[sibylla.livejournal.com]

*blinkblink*

I believe I need to work harder to stay on your good side. That's a fearsome wish, there.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you! *preens* The trick, unfortunately, is making them stick, which I've not yet perfected.

[stagger-lee77.livejournal.com]

damn that's a helluva wish!

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I take pride in my work.