Wat up, indeed?
Sep. 13th, 2008 12:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
slipjig3Reason #92,017 why I love Roger Ebert? The following response to reader mail in this week's Answer Man column:
Q. Yo dude, u missed out on "Disaster Movie," a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?
S.J. Stanczak, Chicago
A. Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?
This is the same man who began his review of Seed of Chucky with, "Midway through Seed of Chucky, Jennifer Tilly complains: 'I'm an Oscar nominee, and now I'm f------ a puppet!' Yeah, and I'm a Pulitzer winner, and I was being f----- by a puppet movie." God, I missed him while he was away.
Q. Yo dude, u missed out on "Disaster Movie," a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?
S.J. Stanczak, Chicago
A. Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?
This is the same man who began his review of Seed of Chucky with, "Midway through Seed of Chucky, Jennifer Tilly complains: 'I'm an Oscar nominee, and now I'm f------ a puppet!' Yeah, and I'm a Pulitzer winner, and I was being f----- by a puppet movie." God, I missed him while he was away.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-13 05:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-13 06:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-13 07:01 pm (UTC)that is all!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-14 01:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-09-14 01:59 am (UTC)Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: "Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind ... Maybe you didn't win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven't invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who's Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers."
...
But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" while passing on the opportunity to participate in "Million Dollar Baby," "Ray," "The Aviator," "Sideways" and "Finding Neverland." As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.