We pause for the gripings of a cranky old person

[slipjig3]

Fueled by repeated sightings of a certain neighbor of mine, I've as of late been consumed by the urge to pull a young "hip" person to the side (preferably one indulging in the mercifully-fading fad of wearing pants wide enough to house a family of five), and tell them the following:

"Look, I know I'm no longer young, and even when I was your age I was nowhere near fashionable. And given these facts, you may well claim that I'm unqualified to comment on how cool or uncool your clothes are, and you'd be absolutely right. But I do want to tell you something important, though, and that is this: at some point, maybe ten or fifteen or even twenty years down the line, you're going to look at a picture of yourself as you are right now, and you're going to ask out loud, 'What the fuck was I thinking?' And when you do, I want you to remember this very conversation with some guy you never met before, whom you're going to be making derogatory remarks about for weeks. When this happens, your penance shall be to find some ludicrously-dressed young person and tell them exactly what I'm telling you now.

"That's all. Have a good day."

Hi. I'm 38. Hardly shows, does it?

Comments

[rubian77.livejournal.com]

*high-fives you*

Dude, it's not just you. I've been wanting to do that for years now. Ever since the late 90's.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Word. Can't blame it on this generation alone, but yeah.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

Oh man, can I relate!
I resist the urge to do that every time I see baggy pants with underwear (or worse yet with hairy butt crack on display). You can never tell when you might get mugged around here. It does make me want to tie the end of their 40 foot wallet chain to something when they aren't looking as well. I'm going to hell for sure. Uh-huh.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Ye gods, the wallet chain. Is it just me, or are these things closer to an advertisement for the fact that yes, you're carrying a wallet?

[pixiekatz.livejournal.com]

Dude, giant pants are the best. I keep mine around my waist/hips, though, rather than hanging off my ass. Crack kills.

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

I keep mine around my waist/hips, though, rather than hanging off my ass.

Thank you for that. That said, remember this conversation. Ten to fifteen years from now, mark my words.

[pixiekatz.livejournal.com]

Also, I'd bet you wore clothing/hairstyles/etc when you were younger that you now regret. DON'T LIE YOU KNOW YOU DID

[slipjig.livejournal.com]

Oh, of course I did. This is why I feel it necessary to warn the younger generation. To quote Spider Robinson, "Here's to Youth, and may we never suffer a relapse."

[daev.livejournal.com]

But the great thing about slipjig's youthful dress sense was that it didn't look the way everyone else was embarrassing themselves back in the Grungeozoic. Adam rocked a unique style best described as Doctor Who Goes Native During The Summer Of Love.

[spoothbrush.livejournal.com]

Doctor Who Goes Native During The Summer Of Love.

I NEVER EVER EVER EVER want to read that fanfic.

[perldiver.livejournal.com]

Rule 34 applies, you know.

I guess you don't have to read it, though. :>

[daev.livejournal.com]

BIG CHINOS

And you ain't gonna see my shirt pocket
Cause I buckle them up at my chin
And it's only my arms and my legs that stick out
And the rest is all khaki, you'd better watch out for my
Big ... my pair of big chinos ... they're so damn big.

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

Well, the kid probably isn't dressing that way in order to try to get your approval.

[perldiver.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear! The NYC subways are full of these gangbanger-wannabes with the crotch of their pants around their friggin' knees and it drives me BANANAS. I just want to grab my gnarled old rubber-tipped hickory cane and start beating them around the head and shoulders while shouting in my aged cracked voice "Get some sense, ya little moron! You aren't in prison, so stop dressing like it and start wearing a gol-durn BELT! You look like a fool, and it's not "cool" or "stylin'" or whatever sheep-brained word you little idiots are calling it these days!"

And yes, I'm 38 as well. Power, brother.