Twenty years of LiveJournal, plus 18 hours of figuring out what to say

[slipjig3]

I got a notification yesterday, congratulating me on the 20th anniversary of my LiveJournal.

20th anniversary. Of my LiveJournal.

How in the holy crumbcake do I even begin processing that?

I mean, how many things have I ever done for 20 years? Granted, I'm on Dreamwidth now, but it's part of the continuum—scroll far enough back, and the imported posts will take you all the damn way to July 3, 2002, when my life was different enough to be unrecognizable now. That was back when you either needed a startup code from someone who already had an LJ or had to cough up for a paid account. I forked over the five bucks even though I knew no one on here, but wanted in because having your own Internet space still meant finding someone with space to spare. I remember who my first LJ friends were: my college friend Bryan, and kimberly_a, and a few folks from Larissa's Binghamton crowd. I remember the process of finding folks through shared interests and interesting comments on other peoples' blogs, and how quickly I became invested in their stories and their social circles became mine.

Every year or two, I write something up on one of my social mediases about how important LJ was to me and those close at hand (extremely); how different LJ culture is to any current stomping grounds (radically); how much I miss the presumptive Golden Age (desperately); how my wife, all of my past roommates, most of my relationships and how I conduct them, the area I call my home, my music, my writing, all have roots to one degree or another in this aging little corner of online life. And every bit of that is true, but somehow it's only now that I've started asking the question, "Was it LiveJournal, or was it us?"

My department at work recently hired on a couple of folks on the low end of twenty-something, born early enough that they wouldn't have even brushed sleeves with LJ on the way to their Tweetbooks and Snapagrams. Since I'd just started posting again, I tried to explain just what the big deal was, why it proved so transformative. It wasn't even like it was the only game in town back then—there were other blogging sites, and Myspace had been Scotchgarding everyone's retinas for a while. it took some doing to get to the heart of it: LJ made you work for it, while also making it worth it. Every social media platform has been about streamlining the social experience, because why write a paragraph when you can compress your engagement to a preselected icon? Steve Martin used to hand out cards to fans he ran into that read, "This certifies that you had a personal encounter with me and that you found me warm, polite, intelligent, and funny." It's what Zuckerberg et al have done, only cutting out the middleman.

The only times LJ streamlined anything was to change the interface to make it easier to read. They might streamline the experience, but not the engagement. We wrote long, thoughtful posts because we got long, thoughtful responses, which we'd then give to their long, thoughtful posts as well. If you want to express that you care, you had to say so, not paste a fucking "CARE" sticker to feign involvement. Do people who weren't the right age to participate know the depth of intimacy that creates? I spilled so many intimate details, joyous and painful and embarrassing and silly and trivial and monumental, in a way that startles me to think about now. Crises were followed and followed up on. Flirting flew across pages like moths. Sex was as easy to share as today's breakfast. Facebook users are brought together, it has nothing to do with Facebook; when the people of LiveJournal were brought together, it was absolutely because of LiveJournal. For all of the memetic currency that we eat and breathe today, could you even imagine something like Blogathon of Blog Like It's the End of the World happening now? And for everything given, more often than not it all got given back. Four paragraphs of shared grief and loneliness would receive a simple response of "I read the whole thing," and it meant more than a thousand like buttons, because it didn't come by accident. It couldn't.

Maybe it had more to do with who we all were back then than I'm admitting to myself, but I can't help but thing that it was the forum, that place-not-a-place, that made it possible for us to be those people at that time. Whenever I've returned to LJ/DW since the tide started turning, it's never stuck because I'm saddened by the lack of interaction, that it's not what it was. This time, I've come back because even in this one post, I've written more than I have in the last two months on Facebook, which I'm arguably more "active" in. It's not because it's safe, whatever that means, but because it's hard. Community is hard. Friendship is hard. Love is hard. Life is fucking hard. And after twenty years of doing this, I find myself needing a lot less of the easy.

For those of you who were there, who held some part of my life during that time no matter how small, I thank you. Still here, still writing. And I know this might not be your place any more, and that's fine. I've got my old pictures and stories and the music we shared, and a stupid icon of a medieval pig because in 2002 I didn't know what else to use. Feel free to stop by, any time.

Comments

[gwynhefar]

I read the whole thing :)

[slipjig3]

:) Thank you! I still worry about that, y'know? Wondering if I'm just shouting at length into the ether.

[gwynhefar]

Honestly, I don’t use LiveJournal or Dreamwidth much these days - the community just isn’t here anymore. For all its many faults, Facebook is where most of the people I care about are most active. But if someone links to an LJ or DW post from FB like you did, I definitely come over to read. I miss the longer, more intimate discussions as well.

Ah, nostalgia for the olden webs

[malefica_v]

Can't deny that LJ/DW are superior spaces for long-form storytelling. I'm delighted that folks like you still come here to do so.

Re: Ah, nostalgia for the olden webs

[slipjig3]

And I'm delighted that you're here to read them. I've missed having room to move around the narrative properly.

[celtic_maenad]

I read the whole thing.

It’s odd, I’m finding TikTok a little like what you’re describing - comments creating connection creating a back and forth, even though I myself don’t create on the platform.
It’s not the same, naturally, but it’s nice.

[slipjig3]

Y'know, I thought about that while writing this up. There is definitely give and take there, where reacting is participating; if there's a major difference, it's that the interactions seem to be more single-serving, centered around the particular video rather than the particular social connection. (Outsider view, so maybe I'm wrong on that.)

[blimix]

Well, I'm sure you know I'm with you on this. I participated in Blog Like It's The End Of the World. I read through The Shitstorm -- the whole thing -- so that I could offer new and helpful perspectives. I've posted in, and given people support in, the annual Anonymous Confessions (or whatever it was called) posts. (Are those still happening? If guess I'm unlikely to see them nowadays.)

And here I am, back at Dreamwidth, even though it doesn't have most of the people (which you'd think would be the single biggest consideration), because it has so much more. Like not being run by fascists, not promoting bullying, the ability to fine-tune privacy settings, and durable, long-form posts. If we got the people back, it could be the community that LJ used to be. So we're being the change we want to see in the world.

[slipjig3]

Your lips to the gods' ears, friend. I'm trying to keep my focus on what DW can offer me by itself, but if the people came back I would be a thousand times over the moon. (Also, missing the days when "not run by fascists" wasn't a bar that was only cleared some of the time.)

And omigod, I'd forgotten about the Anonymous Confessionals! Maybe I should host one to see what happens. I might have to herd some of the FB crowd over, which would at least get folks test-driving this old jalopy again.

[miintikwa]

Oh gosh, that means my 20 year anniversary is either up or coming soon. I relate to all of this. LJ saved my life, in many ways.

I'm glad we met. <3

[slipjig3]

Same. Hard same. All counts. <3

[tfcocs]

Me too!

This deserves a long response...

[avivasedai]

... so I'll write it in my blog. }B- >

I have missed writing in LJ/DW since my kid was born and my habits all drastically changed. Aaaaand I'll stop writing here because it's about to get long-winded in my brain!!

Nope, not gonna long-post at work. Suffice to say: I no longer need the audience I had, if I ever "needed" you/them in the first place. My writing came before the friends were here. Indeed, the friends happened the same way for me as you described - all my Boston crowd happened because both Paulo and I liked Boggle, seriously.

This forum drew the people who want to journal, not just update, not just blurb. If they left for other pastures, there could be so many reasons, not just other social media. I'm glad it's still here for when the words just need to get out of my head. I've done a lot more private posting than public in the last ... 8-10 years than I used to.

Re: This deserves a long response...

[slipjig3]

I think you've hit on the core of it, or one of them. That need for an audience is what brought a lot of us over in the first place (it certainly was for me), so my path is exactly the opposite of yours, with the people pushing the writing, although I believe I met you in person first. I think that's why my attempts to restart my posting habits failed—if the audience has left the building, why am I still on this stage? But seeing it in those terms makes me miss what it has to offer, above and beyond the social hoopty, and it's those things I find myself needing right now. And maybe, if I'm lucky, the social hoopty will tag along for the ride. (This post got a dozen responses, so anything's possible.)

Also, Boggle is absolutely a strong basis for a strong community.

[cluegirl]

We didn't meet on LJ, but I met the person who introduced me to you there. And then I met you in person at the house of someone else whom I met on LJ. The convention where we spent most of our time together, I only attended because someone on LJ invited me there.

LJ was my lifeline after I moved to New York from Texas, and left all of my Kith behind to do it. You are one of the shining jewels of that experience, and I'm really glad we got to share that.

[slipjig3]

My story, verbatim: met same friend(s) and attended same con(s) thanks to those I met on LJ, and when I needed a lifeline in the wake of my marriage ending all those years ago, this was it. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you in it, and I'm so grateful for your presence and all you brought with you. Let us keep on keeping on. *raises glass*

[azurelunatic]

I think IRC/private Discords might fill a similar niche. Much more immediate, but there's still the chance for backreading and long, in-depth thoughts and replies.

I got started on email lists before LJ, and LJ was a better many-to-many experience with a better flexibility and no need to stay on topic. Before that it was 1:1 email, and goodness that was a lot, and easier and quicker than long-form letters.

[avivasedai]

I got chided for how long my emails were, which curtailed that as my way of capturing life and sharing it. *shrug*

[slipjig3]

Yeah, I think Discord is probably the closest analog, in finding that balance between macro and micro social view. I didn't really have anything before this, unless you go wayyyyy back to notesfiles on the school mainframe back in college. I can't imagine maintaining that much one-on-one, so maybe LJ streamlined more than I thought.

[felisdemens]

I rarely have nostalgia (distance is a long-range filter/memory a flickering light), but I have vast longing for the heyday of the LJ community.

[slipjig3]

I hear you, comrade. Not even the specific What, I think, but what the What made possible, if that makes any sense.

[captain18]

It's also interesting how different LiveJournal (and its clones) and Facebook are in another sense beyond the short-form/long-form divide:

I've always found Facebook to be centripetal in nature -- facing and pushing inward, where I connected with people I already know from family, school, work, or certain other social structures.

Conversely, I've always found LiveJournal to be centrifugal -- facing and pushing outward, where I connected with people who were connected to the people I knew, independent of existing social structures.

I don't really know whether that's just me, or whether that's a side effect of my having joined Facebook when it was still largely about (re)connecting with people you knew from high school and posting pictures of what you were having for dinner.

I tried to do a couple of longer-form posts on Facebook years back and got near-zero engagement from most of them, which made me sad. But it also made me realize that the majority of people I knew from HS weren't interested in anything long-form (except perhaps drinking) and a key part of LJ was its element of self-selection. In my mind, people created LJ accounts because they had something they wanted to say -- if only to themselves. People created FB accounts because they wanted to be heard.

I'd thought about restarting my journal, on LiveJournal, since that's where all my content is (including some technical posts on obsolete video tech that appear to still be fairly well page-ranked by Google and I'd rather not lose that) but Russia's invasion of Ukraine put that on pause. I'm still not sure what I want to do on that front, but I did create an account here on DreamWidth today just so I could post this reply.

[slipjig3]

Yay! So glad to have you here! Hopefully the import fuckery (by which I mean the Ukraine invasion megafuckery) will clear up soon, so you can pack up the van and come on over.

I like your centripetal vs. centrifugal analogy. The cause and effect of social media on and from just plain social is almost completely inverted, which is the part I had a hard time explaining to my younger coworkers. The surface mechanical differences don't look like anything (and certainly not in LJ/DW's favor) until you've gotten to stay here a while, like moving to a small town after a lifetime in an overcrowded city. You don't realize how badly Facebook has wrecked our interactions until you've gotten a taste of the alternative. And yeah, I've tried long-form over there, too, in the Land of the Teal Deer, but I have no inclination to try ever again. I—we—have this.

Hope to see you around, sir. It's like riding a bicycle: everything is wide open for the taking.

[rubian77]

Yeah, I got a similar email...July 4 was my LJ-versary, but 18 years. I got a code from my brother.

I'm glad to see you here, and glad to see you posting again. FB isn't the same because THIS takes effort and not just a lazy click to react or repost a meme.

[noachoc]

::applause::

[tfcocs]

I am approaching my official twentieth next year, too (I started with another journal in 2002 but accidentally activated this one once I started paying for LJ in 2003; oops). I too have so many lifelong friends who I met through LJ who are a part of my life to this day. My life is richer for it.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

My 18th LJ anniversary will be in September. Whoa.

I’m proud that I’ve finally with some consistency been putting poems on my LJ, something I’d considered all the way back in 2004 but kept not doing much of until a few years ago. Poem-writing has helped me. (It’s on my mind because I just posted a new poem yesterday.)

I’m amused that I also finally created a private LJ scrapbook for nudes of myself. Don’t worry, they’re nudes I could handle appearing elsewhere online.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Here’s the latest poem, by the way. A very trying-to-sound-like-Shel-Silverstein thing.

https://chris-walsh.livejournal.com/2244670.html